Ibinu

Drunken Ramblings.

I see you but I can't have you.

I want you but I can't get you.

Applied for the position of your boyfriend, no response.

Time passed, heard that you chose that f*cking nigga over me.

He's that good uhn? What did he ever do for you?

I swear I did everything that he didn't do.

Didn't heal your hurts, didn't touch your heart.

Couldn't soothe your fears nor ignite your body.

Would have kissed the ground you walked on to be closer to you.

Heard you don't talk about the past?

You mean he doesn't know?

All the midnight confessions and daylight omissions.

What are you afraid of?

That he'll leave you once he finds out about your nightmares?

F*ck that!

Let me at them. 

I'll slay your f*cking demons if you let me.

Be your dungeon raider.

Be the shadow to your ego.

Baby, I'll be your f*cking knight.

Come see me tonight.

In my dreams where you'll be nicer.

We can talk about the future and the days when we'll be older.

You run and hide behind excuses while I'm ready to go all in.

I reach out to grab you but like mist, you keep eluding me.

You've addicted me to you,

To your beauty, to your laugh, to your scent.

If I bottled up your essence, it would sell for millions.

Just a glimpse of your silhouette and I'm your loyal dog.

You can call me Scooby and I'll be at your beck and call.

Don't hide from me because I can't live without you.

I'm a thirsty man in a desert and you're the only oasis.

Planned to study you for decades but you barely stayed for weeks.

Didn't get to explore you, to be intoxicated by you.

To learn all the nooks, crannies and facets of you.

Would get a doctorate if my thesis was you.

Thought I knew you, turns out I was wrong.

I only knew one aspect of you.

Girl, let me drown in you.

My heart keeps stretching out to reach you, the traitor.

It wants to make a home where yours used to be.

Sorry, forgot you never give it to anybody.

Can my home be you?

I turn around and you're not there.

I hate you!

I'm lying, please come back.

Got me begging on my knees like a bloody fool.

You've got me torn in two,

One side wants to forget you ever existed,

while the other wants to remember you forever.

My heart is a caricature left in the wake of your love.

I'm left with tunnel vision, all I see is you.

Did everything we said mean nothing to you?

Thought we had something real, I guess I was mistaken.

I thought I made you happy, your joy was iridescent.

Or was the laughter we shared a mere figment of my imagination?

My body was the only thing I was good for uhn?

What good was it when it couldn't keep you for longer than a minute?

Guess the hunger in your eyes is sated, you couldn't get rid of me fast enough.

You threw me to the curb and ran me over for good measure.

Wish you weren't so g*ddamn beautiful.

Why do you keep attracting niggas anyway?

Are you trying to collect them as if they are Pokémon or something?

Your memory keeps chasing me, 

so I take the coward's way out.

I run away from you,

and chase for oblivion at the end of a bottle.

If I keep looking, maybe I'll find my healing at the bottom.

One, two, five, twelve.

I look at the moon and see you.

The moonlight is reminiscent of your glow.

Bomboclat!

I stare at my hands, hands that still held you days ago.

I see twenty fingers instead of ten but the pain is still present.

Should have been drowned out by the contents of the empty bottles strewn around me yet still you hunt me.

They say a drunk mind speaks a sober heart.

I love you, I admit it.

I know you don't believe in love and forevers.

Give me a chance and I swear I'll put a brand on your heart that says mine.

Scrap that.

Better to forget and move on because this would only lead to more hurt and devastation

I'll be running- I mean leaving first this time around.

I'm going to get someone new,

to protect what little of my heart remains.