Desired Beauty

Chapter 19

Kennedy's POV

I sat in the car and thought about the  things that had just transpired.

I gripped the smooth steering wheel with all my might and repeatedly banged my head against the wheel.

Partly trying to erase the the last 15 minutes of my life. And the other half trying to feel a slight satisfaction to calm my rushing head. But I only made my head ache worse.

I'm tired of saying is this my life. Because it is! And this is the life I chose.

I thought I knew what I was getting into.

But clearly I was truly and utterly mistaken.

I drove home in silence. Everything flooded my mind. My life , my world. Was a lie.

I thought I knew what my life was or was becoming.  But now I don't . The foundation I once had and stood upon faithfully had disintegrated. And now I'm the one that's left broken and confused.

Fuck no more tears.

It's my life and I can cry if I want to. Too bad I have no one to call. No friends to run to or to uplift me.

How can you feel something and nothing at the same time? Is it even possible?

I had made it home.

And I didn't know what to do with myself.

I decided I'd crash in his guest room .

When morning came. The sound of the alarm system let me know he was home.

Yet I laid in bed and stared at the wall. With my back facing the door.

I heard his footsteps coming up the stairs and I knew he'd coming looking for me to try and plead his case. But I didn't wanna hear it. I didnt!

I heard him check his bedroom . And when he noticed I wasn't there he let out a sigh.

And made his way to the guest room. The closer he got the faster my heart beat.

He turned the knob and I sighed awaiting his presence. 

And yet he kept jiggling the door. Yess I remembered to lock it . I didn't need to see him right now. 

"Kenn it's daddy open up" he said timid and softly.

By this time I'm sitting up in my bed livid ! This fuck niggah got the audacity to come to this house tryna talk to me after last night ? Ha! Nahhh it don't work like that.

I rather be in the presence of Drew than him.

The door jiggled once more and the door opened. FUCK !

There I sat indian style , arms crossed,  with a killer mug.

And here come these 2 bitch made niggahs.

There they stood. Silent. Looking at me. You could tell they didn't know what to say to me , how to say it , or how to even start.

The longer they stood the more pissed I got.

"Soooooo, yall ain't gone say shit ? Aight I'm out. " I said with a clear attitude.

"Hey ! Sit down" My sperm donor said as he gripped my arm firmly.

I snatched away. But made sure I sat my ass down. Because his tone was just like the other night.

"What the fuck yall here for? What the fuck yall want?"

"We came to talk and to explain ourself.  " they spoke in unison.

"There ain't shit to explain ! What's done is done. Yall already showed me who yall really were. I'm good. Yall can leave. " I said once more with an attitude