Dear Angel (Michael Sutthakorn)

Six

Dear Michael,

I feel slightly embarrassed that I don't remember most of our early years together except a few details. Like that time I tried to teach you to roller skate and you kept falling over. That time we went to the cinema and had the whole theatre to ourselves so we weren't afraid to laugh out loud and shout and chat and kiss and cuddle.

I remember you trying to help me revise and do homework but you couldn't because it was all in Welsh so you had to ask Dan to help you help me because you were determined you'd be the one to help. I remember finishing my GCSEs and getting into a 6th form close to the 'MADhouse' so I would see you almost everyday. I remember you were thankful that I was now in an English school so you could pretend to help me with my work. I also remember that really you were just there to reward me with kisses and to joke about how I would never ever use this information in everyday life.

"Excuse me madam, do you know how my artery works? I seem to have forgotten and now it won't work." We would mock in silly voices.

There are four things that stand out a lot about the whirlwind of those first years though.

First, your smile. You were always smiling. Even when you were sad and crying we could embrace and I'd feel your smile grow against my lips. Your smile made me happy and you said mine did the same for you.

Secondly, your laugh. By the time we were 17 and 18 we had so many inside jokes and funny stories that we would spend a lot of our time together laughing, sometimes over the stupidest things. Your laugh sparked a happiness deep within me and made me happy on the darkest days. It was impossible for me not to laugh when you laughed. Do you remember?

Third was your voice. When you sang it was like you were an angel; carefully and perfectly crafted from only the purest of ingredients. Your heart and soul always went to your songs and you would always smile and wave and wink and make faces at me through the window in the recording booth.

And lastly, what I remember is how young and carefree we were. Even as we worked hard; me on becoming a teacher and you on your music career; we still found time to mess about and have tickle fights and pillow fights and to play in the snow and lay in the sun and read to each other in funny voices. We were young. We were free.