Static Electricity | Sam and Colby

Five

Corey doesn't bring up their conversation again but Sam feels himself grow paranoid. Every little whisper teases the possibility that he's actually not okay but that can't be true because Sam knows how he feels and he honestly feels fine.

Colby is also fraying Sam's nerves because the brunette is acting more and more like he used to. He's taking trips with them, he's not shy and awkward. He's back to being Colby from Sam and Colby, he's back and Sam's drifting further away and it's all one big mess that Sam can't fix because nothing's really broken.

He doesn't quite understand why people think something's wrong with him. He hasn't changed at all, he's still the same Sam that he's been all his life. He's not different in videos, not different at all yet the housemates give him sly looks they think he doesn't notice. It's driving him crazy but he can't lash out because then he really would be different and that's not okay.

Everything's so confusing and Sam doesn't know what to do about it. He can tuck it away and he can pretend not to notice and that's fine but if someone else confronts him about it what's he supposed to do? Sam doesn't like lying. If he's careful, maybe they'll leave him be.

"Yo Sam!"

He grits his teeth, surprised with himself at the action. He's not one to get annoyed easily and while he may act it up for the cameras, Sam is usually a peaceful person.

"Sam!"

There's just something about Colby's voice right now that sets his teeth on edge. He can't understand it, he's not sure he really wants to, and it's so irrational and aggressive that is almost amusing to him.

"Samuel!"

"What?" He roars back, frustrated and tired and anxious. "What could you possibly want right now?"

He comes face to face with a slightly scared Colby who stares at him like the world is ending. "I-Sorry."

Sam runs his hands through his hair, exhaling and battling away the sudden tears in his eyes. What's wrong with me? "Sorry dude, I'm really stressed right now."

Colby nods hesitantly and Sam wants to shout at something when he sees the apprehension in Colby's familiar blue eyes. Sam's a peaceful person, he never gets angry or aggressive. He hates raising his voice, he hates violence but here he is, pushing away one of the only people that he values.

What's wrong with him?

He backs up slightly, something Colby notices but doesn't mention, and tugs on his hair. He can't break down, can't worry the others like that. He doesn't even know what's wrong, he just feels full of .... something .... and he's bursting at the seams. He just needs to let it out.

He crumbles and Colby catches him. Sam doesn't cry, just stares at the floor as his body trembles. His eyes are stinging but there are no tears on his cheeks. Colby's whispering something to him, saying words that Sam can't hear because there's this weird buzzing in his ears and he just wants to sleep and wake up three years ago.

Suddenly, he is being pulled up by Colby and led over to his bed. He sinks into the covers, the shades of grey in which he's being the world in covering him, drowning him, suffocating him. He buries his head in the joint between Colby's neck and Colby's shoulders, feeling strangely like he's five years old again.

A sleepy part of him points out that isn't a bad thing but Sam tells it to shut up. He's a mature adult, he needs to act like it. This isn't what grown-ups do. Him and Colby aren't teenage boys anymore, they can't support each other like they used to.

"Sam," Colby breathes. "Stop thinking. Please. You're worrying me, dude."

"I can't," Sam admits very quietly. His voice is quavering. "I can't, Colby."

And then he dissolves into sobs and Colby doesn't let him go.