While swimming through the water, all I could think about was how disrespectful people were. It only solidified my feelings about going to Australia with Clare. There were many reasons I wanted to go with her now, but ultimately, if I had let her go alone, I would've been worried about her. The people who ruined our moment today were friends of Hannah and Nathan, and I wanted to be there to help Clare, even if it was just making her smile, which was exactly what I planned to do. Regrouping with Clare, I looked at her intently and watched momentarily as I tried to figure out the best thing to say to her.
As I took that moment to be lost in thought, I found myself observing Clare further. The top of her head was pressed against the aquamarine tiles that made up the pool wall, while black droplets of mascara fell from her face and into the water, only to disappear seconds later. I didn't know if she wanted to look at me or say something, but her body seemed reluctant to move from her current position. Her knuckles were practically turning white as she gripped the pool's edge, and still, I couldn't decide what I wanted to say other than what seemed to be the most obvious.
"Are you okay, Clare?" I asked, already knowing that she wasn't.
"Just leave me alone, James. I've already embarrassed you enough today." She replied. The tone of her voice was weak, destroyed and almost non-existent.
She was broken to every extent, and I knew how she felt. Being broken after what seemed to be a perfect moment was torture no one should endure. Then again, maybe my damaged past would help me, help Clare. Before I could try, though, I let her have a good cry since there seemed to be nothing left of her mental state. We had been humiliated in front of the school's elites, which was still something that I, too, was trying to deal with, but that's when I finally said what I needed her to hear.
"I'm not going to leave you alone, Clare. Not like this." I told her confidently, hoping that my voice didn't crack.
"Why?" She replied with her eyes still locked on the tile wall.
"Because I've been where you are mentally. Wanting to just be alone, but it's not worth it. I wished that I had people there by my side when I was crumbling emotionally. Even if you don't feel that way now, I promise it's for the best, and we don't have to talk, but I'm not leaving you." I confessed to her one of my greatest secrets.
"Really?" She asked, seemingly shocked by my confession.
"Yeah, now will you please look at me," I begged, and through my desperation, it seemed like her walls were lowering.
Clare sniffed back her sadness before rubbing her eyes to get all the tears out of them. Although as she did this, the mascara she had on streaked and stained her cheeks, leaving multiple black lines in their wake. Taking her hands away from her eyes, she looked at them, and the weak smile on her face once more turned into a subtle frown. I was at a loss for words as I merely floated there, trying to determine what was fuelling her disappointment.
"It said it was waterproof." She whispered, and I couldn't help but chuckle at her comment.
I never expected her to be that upset about her makeup at a time like this, but if that was the only problem she had, I was more relieved than anything. I don't know what got into me, but I raised a hand out of the water and gently wiped some of the running mascara off Clare's cheek. A smile immediately returned to her face as my finger met her skin and rubbed what amount of makeup I could off. Then the next thing I knew, she was makeup-free, and the two of us watched as the black substance faded away in the water, never to be seen again.
"Thank you," Clare said, and with her renewed smile, I couldn't help but smile back.
"No problem, it's the least that I could do for you," I said, but something still seemed to be weighing on her.
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By Your Side (Preview)
RomanceSometimes the biggest threats are family. James, a soon-to-be high school graduate and ranking member of the locally known outcasts, is about to take the next step in his life. Reflecting on his past leading up to this, he regretted not doing what e...