Anything Goes

Dead Flowers

I looked up at the ceiling of my brand-new apartment. Ok, brand-new was a bit of a stretch. It was brand-new to me. There were water spots on the ceiling and I tried not to imagine how they got there. The curtains were old bedsheets tacked to the walls. The wallpaper was ripping, and screamed 60’s. The carpet was so flat it may as well not be there. But it was all I could afford. Having a job put money in my pocket and a place of my own.

It wasn't that I had minded living with Spike. Even after we'd stopped seeing each other, he told me I was still welcome to stay. I just figured it would be best if I got my own place, with the awkwardness and whatnot. Well, he didn't seem to feel awkward. I was the one who did. I stretched out on the poor excuse for a bed. Admittedly I did miss Spike's bed a little. I felt so tired, like I'd just run a marathon, for seemingly no reason. My throat ached. Maybe I could catch a nap...

Someone knocked on the door. The doorbell was broken. Wearily, I got up to go answer it. My visitor happened to take the form of long gray cardigan, black lace tie-up shirt and black jeans. His guitar was strapped to his back

“Hi Tracii.” I sighed. Tracii grinned. He had a lot more energy than he let on. For someone with a lot of Personality, he sure kept it hidden all the time.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. Can I come in or what?” Tracii asked, way too happy next to me, who felt like the walking dead. I held the door open for him. He settled back on the couch like he belonged here. For how often he dropped by, he may as well have. “And how are we this morning?”

“Alive.” I said scratchily. I cleared my throat. Fuck that hurt.

“Just alive?” Tracii said, examining his fingernails. Blue nail polish. Where did he get his sense of fashion? “Well, maybe I can fix that. I brought lyrics over. Wanna take a look at them?” He fished folded pieces of tablet paper out of his pocket. I shrugged. I didn't really feel like it, but then again, I didn't feel much like doing anything. What's wrong with me today? Tracii looked me over. He was serious this time. “You alright, man?”

“Yeah. Fine. Why?” I asked, brushing hair out of my face. Was I? Good fucking question, Axl. I tried to look anywhere else but into Tracii’s brown eyes. Fuck, in this light, he sort of looked like--

“Um, because you're a space case.” Tracii remarked. “Not like you. You usually perk up when I dig song material out. Did your boss ride you at work or something?”

“No.” I said simply, tapping out a cigarette and lighting it. Tracii took it and dragged on it before giving it back. He did that a lot. Then he leaned back on the armrest of the couch and nudged me with his feet.

“Well, something's up with you, and I'm gonna find out what. You and your girlfriend break up?”

“Don't have a girlfriend.” I said from behind my cigarette. Tracii sat up cross-legged and stared.

“What about the girl with the purple hair? The one I see at your job all the time? I thought that was your girlfriend? She's always there when you are.” He piped up. I almost spit out my cigarette.

“The fuck? No! That's my manager, Tracii…” I shook my head slowly, rubbing my forehead. I was getting a headache. Tracii giggled sheepishly.

“Oops. My bad. Don't tell her I said that, would you? Look, something's got you down, why don't you fess up? I'm not leaving till you tell me. If that means I have to sit in the shower with you while you bathe, believe me I will, and I'll enjoy it. So you better start talking.” Tracii said, clasping his arms around his knees. Now I wished I hadn't answered the door.

“Tracii, it's nothing really.” I said, stubbing out my cigarette.

“A-ha! I knew it! You said ‘it’s’, so that means there is something wrong.” Fuck me. Way to go, Axl. “So, let's hear it.”