SUNSHINE, jihope. [fin.]

3; sunshine

“Free condoms!” Hoseok kicks open the door with a cheerful yell, dropping an armful of packets onto the kitchen counter where Jimin is eating a salad.

Jimin stares at him, blinking, a fork full of lettuce shoved in his mouth.

“There was a huge basket in the library so I just grabbed a bunch. Half are yours and half are mine.” He separates the pile with his arm and stares at it, trying to gauge if they’re distributed evenly.

Through the mouthful of salad Jimin says, “Nah, I’m good. Thanks, though.”

Hoseok looks scandalized. “Are you saying no to free condoms?”

“Yes?”

Hoseok squints, peering at him closely. Jimin chews uncomfortably, raising an eyebrow. “Are you a virgin?”

He flushes immediately. Everyone always makes fun of him for it, and he doesn’t really want to admit it to the very experienced Hoseok, who went home with a guy after a night at a Hongdae club just last week. Hoseok’s good at partying and drinking and sex and Jimin finds it difficult to interact with large groups of strangers for longer than fifteen minutes. Sometimes he feels kind of stupid around Hoseok. There’s no use lying, though, so he gives a small nod, staring at his protein shake instead of the amused look he imagines Hoseok will have.

“Half’s still yours, never know what might happen,” Hoseok says. Jimin glances up, and there’s no judgement on Hoseok’s face. Only thoughtfulness.

That’s probably what drives Jimin to say, “Um, actually, I probably won’t ever need condoms.”

“Why?” He looks a little confused, but still not judging, so Jimin clarifies.

“I’m asexual.”

The confusion clears. “Really? Well, more for me then.” He scoops up the pile and proceeds to dump it at the foot of his bed.

Jimin laughs, and the relief he feels must show because the smile Hoseok turns on him is comforting. Hoseok doesn’t seem like the judging type. Jimin knows this. Nothing in his reaction drives Jimin to think he cares at all. But it feels so strange to reveal such a large part of himself that Jimin regrets it almost immediately after. He spends the rest of the day with an uncomfortable churning in his stomach. He feels like he’s let go of something important, lost a piece of himself.

And like he always does, he lies awake thinking about it, running through their conversation in his head, making it bigger than it really was. Everything had gone fine. He knows this, too. But he can’t help it. It’s while he lies awake that he hears it—soft sniffles, a shaky intake of breath. The unmistakable sound of Hoseok crying.

Hoseok doesn’t talk about himself much—at least, not about the serious things. It’s only because of one night where Hoseok came home a little drunk that Jimin knows about Sejun. Even then, Hoseok hadn’t said much, just that he had left his old place because he fell too hard for someone who should have been nothing more than a fuckbuddy. And Jimin knows Hoseok still thinks about him because one day he catches Hoseok looking at a picture of a good-looking guy laughing and he can tell by the pained quirk of Hoseok’s lips that it’s Sejun.

So he grabs his pillow and tiptoes over to Hoseok’s side of the room, where Hoseok’s back is to him, shaking slightly.

“Hyung?” he murmurs, touching his shoulder gently.

Hoseok freezes. For a moment he doesn’t move, and Jimin is afraid he’s done something wrong. But then he exhales a shaky breath, wiping his face on the back of his hand. “Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” But his voice cracks at the end and Jimin knows he isn’t.

“Scoot over.” Jimin places his pillow next to Hoseok’s, pushing him over until there’s room for him to curl up on the sleeping mat by his side. He rubs his arm. “You can keep crying if you need to, hyung. But it’s probably better not to do it alone.”

Hoseok sniffs a few times. Then he murmurs, “Thanks, Jiminie.”

-

shskdjsj this was short, but short chapters like this will happen often so I'm sorry in advance :(

bye my lovelies ♡

-bbybangtan