SUNSHINE, jihope. [fin.]

5; sunshine

I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPLOADING YESTERDAY, I'LL UPLOAD A CHAPTER TOMORROW MORNING AS WELL TO MAKE UP FOR IT. SORRY AGAIN LOVELIES ♡

It's Saturday night and Hoseok is out again. Jimin leans against the wall near the entrance of their building, smoking a cigarette with slightly shaking fingers, and thinks he's a little jealous. It seems like everyone's good at normal university student things like socializing and fucking around but Jimin's not good at any of that. It kind of scares him. He's okay with talking to people most days, he's just a little awkward, but parties are different. He's not sure if he doesn't try because he doesn't want to or because he can't. It's easy for everyone he knows to find someone to be with but Jimin's always been lonely. He can't talk to boys or girls he finds attractive so he never makes friends with any, and even when he does he's so picky he always realizes they aren't right for him and backs off. Anyway everyone seems to expect sex and Jimin never wants to have sex. Even if someone, by some strange miracle, falls for him he can't ask them to abstain from sex forever just because of him. He would feel bad. And they would get bored of him. Not that anyone will ever like him to begin with, but.

That morning his dance professor had ripped into him for messing up his flip. You took on the responsibility of tumbling so I expect you to take it seriously. Never mind that he had been taking it seriously. Never mind that he had practiced until seven in the morning just a few days ago. Never mind that no matter what he did he was never good enough.

He crushes the cigarette under his foot and pulls out another one. When he brings his lighter to the end he realizes how badly his hands are shaking. He tries and fails a few times to flick the lighter and now his lips are trembling, too, the cigarette wobbling between them.

"Here. Let me."

He glances up, surprised. Hoseok takes the lighter from his hands and flicks it. The flame appears instantly, and Hoseok brings it to the end of Jimin's cigarette.

"Where'd you come from?" Jimin says, taking a drag.

"You were fiddling with the lighter. You didn't see me walk up."

"Yeah."

Hoseok's eyeliner is smudged. He smells like alcohol. There's a dark hickey on the side of his neck. "I didn't know you smoked."

"Only sometimes."

"You eat so damn healthy and work out twice a day and here you are smoking." Hoseok squints, peering at him in that way that makes Jimin squirm. "Are you okay?"

Jimin shrugs. "Are you?"

"Show me yours and I'll show you mine," he teases.

Jimin can't help but laugh. "I'm not okay but it's just the usual."

"What's the usual?"

"I suck at everything."

"Park Jimin, you most definitely do not suck at everything. I mean, I can think of some things for you to suck if you're interested but—"

He rolls his eyes. "Your turn."

"I'm not okay either, but it's just the usual."

"What's the usual?"

He hesitates. "Sejun."

"We're a hot mess, aren't we?"

"Yeah."

"Have you ever been to the Visual Arts building's terrace?"

"I don't think so."

"It's really nice. Wanna check it out?"