SUNSHINE, jihope. [fin.]

14; I

hi I myself am getting impatient with this so here you go, another chapter for y'all ;)

Hoseok should have known.

He should have known Jimin wouldn’t reciprocate. But he had hoped, had thought he saw something in Jimin’s eyes, felt something in the way Jimin held him, that spoke to the longing within himself. You fall in love with everyone anyway. It could be Jimin’s insecurities speaking. If only he would let Hoseok talk to him, maybe he could change his mind. Convince him that this was real.

Friday night rolls around, and he goes to the club because he’s miserable and has nothing else to do and it’s become a habit so ingrained within himself that he almost can’t imagine doing anything else. He loses himself in the crowd and tries not think about Jimin—tries and fails. He’s drunk off his ass when he sees him.

Holding two glasses of alcohol, Sejun pushes through the crowd to reach him, handsome as ever. He flashes him a dazzling smile, pushing a glass into his hands. Hoseok barely manages to hold onto it.

“Didn’t think I’d run into you here,” Sejun says, leaning in to be heard.

“I’m always here. Never seen you.”

“Thought I’d try a new place.” He leans in closer, too close. Hoseok feels dizzy. He tosses back the drink anyway. “Dance with me?”

Jimin springs to his mind unbidden. How disappointed he would be if he saw Hoseok now. You’re not even over Sejun yet. You can’t be in love with me.

Sejun’s lips brush the shell of his ear. “I miss you.”

And it’s decided. Maybe it’s always been decided. Maybe it’s written that Hoseok will always give in, a part of his inevitable destiny.

He lets Sejun take him home to the old boarding house. Everything still smells the same, and he feels like he’s come full circle. He regrets it before his head even touches Sejun’s pillow, but not enough to stop. With Sejun’s hands on him he feels the wounds in his heart open up again like he hasn’t struggled for months trying to heal them.

After they clean up, Sejun hands him his jacket from where he dropped it on the floor coming in. “It was good seeing you,” he says. “We should meet up again, yeah?”

If that isn’t a dismissal, Hoseok doesn’t know what is. He pulls on his clothes and shoes and almost laughs. It’s always the same shit. He wonders why he thought it would be any different.

He scrubs away the tears he hadn’t even realized were falling and tries to remember how to get home.