" LIPSTICK " + STENBROUGH

[39]

bill is unsure as to how the got here, all he knows is that the tears streaming down stanley's face are slowly ripping him apart. he hates seeing the boy so sad, sitting on the couch across from bill and his parents, the uris' sitting to stan's left.

it starts when bill's mom receives a phone call from stanley's mother, asking if they are free this afternoon for a visit. his mother says yes, and several minutes, the uris' are standing at bill's front door. the look of dread and disgust on stanley's parents' faces, combined with the fear lingering in stanley's eyes, tells bill one thing he is desperately hoping he is wrong about.

they know.

they are sitting now, quite awkwardly, on the two couches in the living room. it's silent, as each person is waiting for someone else to speak. mrs. uris looks rather agitated, obviously, and sits up a bit straighter.

"we came by today to discuss a phone call we received this morning," she says, and glances at stanley with a venomous glare. "as i think you are aware, stanley has been dating a girl named patricia blum for several months now. this morning, patricia's father called and said that their home phone received several voicemails from stanley. in them, he is rather intoxicated, professing his love for your son, bill."

bill's eyes widen, as his mother and father both look at him. he suddenly remembers when stan came by the other night, saying he left bill a few voicemails, tried calling him but he never picked up. bill never got the calls, because he called the wrong number. mrs. uris opens something on her phone, before lifting her head.

"i think you should hear this," she says, and presses another button.

"bill!" stan's voice drifts out of the speaker of mrs. uris' phone, happy, and light, and carefree.

the boy sitting beside his mother looks absolutely mortified, resting his chin on his palm, as he looks off to the side with an expression of sadness and embarrassing on his face. there are tracks from tears on his face, like he's been crying all morning, and bill feels bad for the boy he loves. and bill isn't even going to deny he's in love with stanley anymore. he simply cannot keep denying himself the right to feel.

"i don't where you are, or what you're doing, but you're obviously busy if you can't pick up. but either way, this is my fifth time calling, so i'm just walking to your house now, hoping you're there," the voicemail continues. "you know, there's this bush by your house that looks just like a dick." here's a laugh. it's loud, and happy, and a very drunk-stan laugh.

"i'm calling to tell you i'm sorry. i'm really sorry, and i really miss you, and i'm in love with you, billy. i made a mistake. patricia was a mistake. god, i'm really drunk right now. this is so stupid! what am i even doing?" bill can hear the conflict in stan's voice, imagining him stopping on the sidewalk, talking to himself, forgetting about the phone against his ear. "no, you know what, i want to do this. i am going to go to your house, fucking apologize, and then, if you're cool with it, kiss you. god, you're a good kisser. i miss that. fuck, i miss you, bill. woah, okay, i should go, i almost just killed myself tripping over a rock. i love you, bill."

the recording of the voicemail ends, and they all sit in silence for a moment. bill cannot stop looking at stanley, who is on the verge of tears it seems. he feels the eyes of his mother and father burning into the side of his head, as if to ask, "did you know about this?", but bill doesn't want to face them. he's too afraid to, and he only imagine what stanley feels right now.

"this is only one of them. the rest are all stan making irrelevant sounds for five minutes," his mother says, sending a glare in her son's direction. "after hearing this for the first time ourselves, we spoke to patricia, who said she once walked in on the two boys together, and she does not think it was the first time they were romantic."

"bill, is this true?" his mother asks. bill glances at his parents, who both look curious. but they don't look hateful. they don't look like they are going to throw him out, even if they already know he's gay, but he's still grateful for that.

"i-it i-i-is," he stutters, looking at stan. the boy sniffles, wiping the sleeve of his sweater carefully against his nose.

"we thought this could be information for you to use as you wish," mr. uris says. "we don't mean to parent your son for you, but if you are looking for any type of conversion camps, we will be able to help you find some."

there is silence, and bill looks at his parents, who looked stunned.

"a conversion camp?" his father asks incredulously. "why would we send him to one of those?"

"your son is a homosexual," mrs. uris says. "and as such, it seems best to take necessary measures to make sure he doesn't act further on those feelings."

"bill is perfectly fine the way he is. and so is stanley," bill's mother says, narrowing her eyes. "there is nothing wrong with either of them, and if you can't see that, then i'm sorry, but i'll have to ask you to leave."

"i'm sorry?" mrs. uris says, but it comes out as a question.

"i don't want two people to come into my house and tell me to fix my son when there isn't anything wrong with him," bill's mother explains. her gaze moves to stand, as she gestures to him. "especially not two people who are tearing their own son apart over this."

stanley glances up, eyes wide and glistening with tears. his high cheekbones shine with tears, eyes bloodshot, adam's apple bobbing heavily in his throat. he takes two fingers and tugs his collar away from his neck, like it's itching him. a nervous tick of stanley's. bill wants to go over and hug him, kiss him, and never let him go. but he knows he can't do that. not when his parents are in the room, and stan's are the most homophobic parents bill has ever met himself.

mrs. uris purses her lips, sitting up straighter—although, bill isn't sure that's possible. she's already sitting up rather straight, looking almost uncomfortable. she grabs her bag, and stands up.

"fine, if you don't want us here, we'll go. i am sorry that you can't see how much of a faggot your son has become. he was much nicer when he was younger, i can tell you that much. good day," mrs. uris says, nose high in the air as she exits the house. mr. uris follows.

stanley stands up, legs shaking as if he is on the deck of a ship in rough waters. his head is down, as he begins walking towards the front door. bill gets up without thinking, walking towards stan. he grabs stan's upper arm, stopping the boy in his tracks.

"stan," he whispers, and stanley turns, looking at bill.

"i'm really really sorry, bill," he says, voice so quiet bill barely hears it. he almost doesn't hear what stan adds next:

"i wasn't lying the other day. i love you, bill."

——

would you guys submit questions if i did a character ask for this book?

i'm not sure 100% yet, but i don't want to do one if it's going to flop

sorry this took so long, been super busy lately

- m