Part one: Alone

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by rachelmaddox

by rachelmaddox

First step, finish high school.
Next step, begin university.
Living alone, for the first time.
What to do? I feel alone, with no one but me, nothing but my thoughts. I wander, am I happy with myself? Am I the person I want to be? Am I the person I THINK I am?

NO.

I still don't know who I am and that scares me. A lot. I keep changing, trying to find myself. But it gets scary from time to time. I start to explore the dark places of my mind and I don't like that.

What is really important? Where am I going? Who am I doing this for?

Insecurities take the best of me. I need approval. I need everyone to like me. Is that bad? Shouldn't I be enough? I know I shouldn't care but that doesn't come easy to me. I'd like to say fuck it all but that's not me.

And all I want is not to be alone.
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This is only part one, for me and for anyone that feels the same. If you are to read it thank you, and if you were to share your story and thoughts, people tell me I'm a good listener.