Life of a young girl

Part six: Coping

When I felt at my lowest I didn't know what to do. Not only did I felt alone socially speaking, but also as if I was the only one feeling like this. Do you ever feel you are the only one going through anxiety or lonelines? Well... you aren't. At the university I would always hear people talking about depression and anxiety but honestly I didn't believe they all got it. When I have felt lost, alone or anxious I have never told it aloud. Until now.

I guess it was hard for me to admit I wasn't feeling alright, that something was wrong with me. But I felt like I had no one to talk to. Everyone has got their problems and most of them don't go telling them to me. So why should I burden them with mine? Why are my problems more important and worthy of even mentioning them? I didn't think they were bigger than my acquitainces's issues.

Huge mistake. There are some people who have been through similar situations as you are going through, and it was also difficult to them to aknowledge them. I had a breakdown in front of people who I don't even consider friends. I just spent time with them partying sometimes. I don't know why but it felt like I was exploding. I needed to let it all out. And it turned out they knew what I was going through. They helped me accept my situantion and named what was wrong with me: anxiety; I was feeling anxious.

Without their help I would sitll be getting worse. After that, I finally spoke to one friend. It turns out she had gone through the same thing a year before. I can't help but to love her more after what she did for me.

And my mum. It took me about three months to open up to her. She knew something wasn't right but she didn't want to pressure me. I told her I wasn't ready to tell her what was all about, but that I wasn't okay.

She really surprised me. She started to look up different psychologists for me to go. And I am going to one. Right after I finish my exams.

But I think Wattpad has helped me the most by letting me express myself, anonimously. Maybe someday, I will get to help someone myself. Until then, I will keep on writing about my thoughts and feelings.

Thank you,

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Rachel.