Tell Me The Same (Brandon Rogers)

25. Day One

*Bug*

The walls were so white they stung my eyes.
They issued me medicine and supervised as I took it. They had me change in to a stiff white shirt and pants, both of which were far too big even in the smallest size.
As I changed I ran my hand along my lightly protruding ribs and hipbones. How did this happen? This wasn't healthy, this wasn't okay.
I tightened the waistband around my waist then followed the nurse down the hall in to what I assumed would be my room for the next few days.

There were two beds, one was already occupied by a sleeping form and the other looked as if you could bounce a nickle off of it.
The nurse checked the watch on her right wrist, "It's past curfew so you'll have to go ahead and go to bed. " She informed me before leaving me alone.
I swayed over to the bed and sat down on the edge, I took a deep breath and looked around. The pills were kicking in and I felt drowsy. I lay on my side, still atop the covers. My mind swarmed with the dull, hazy thoughts of how awful I was before I suddenly fell asleep.

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I woke with a nurse's hand on my shoulder, shaking me awake.
"Get up, down the hall for breakfast." She told me, my body was frozen in place and her touch felt dull. I heard her repeat the sentence to the girl in the bed next to me, followed by her stirring in the bed.
I followed suit, sitting up my tired body to the edge of the bed. I looked at the girl in the other bed, she had long pin straight light brown hair tucked behind her ears, she was tall and lanky as well. Her green eyes met mine and I quickly looked away, slightly embarrassed.

"I'm Peyton." She introduced herself, her voice lighter and sweeter than I would have expected.
"Um, I'm Bug." I replied, my naturally raspy voice even worse from this past week.
She chuckled, "That's an odd name."
I nodded, "I know."
I watched her slip on her slippers then walk toward the doorway realizing it didn't even have an actual door.
"You coming?" She looked back at me, her thin eyebrows raised at me. I stood and followed her out the door and down the hallway.

I was a few strides behind her, there were others in the hall and I looked over them. I wanted to cry once more as I thought about the situation I was in once more. Was this even real?
We enter a large dining area, somewhat like a cafeteria at a school and I fell in to the line.
There were a decent number of people, ranging from possibly younger than me to elders, I assumed on had to be in his seventies.

"Ma'am." A sharp, scolding word shot me out of my haze and I looked back at the woman who was handing me my tray of food. I mumbled and apology and took the tray from her hands, I looked around for a spot to seat myself. It took a hot moment but I found a table with minimal people and sat. I quietly ate my soggy pancakes and sausage links, barely allowing myself to look around at the other people around me.

After breakfast I watched as people shuffled out the room through double doors. Once I mustered the courage I followed suit and found myself in the main area, set with two tvs, chairs and table, games and the like.
I saw people go buy a nurse's desk, retrieve a small container of their individual medicine and continue on with what they planned to do.
"What's the name?" The nurse asked as I made my way to the desk.
"Bug Avery." I told her. I watched as she handed me a small cup of pills and she monitored me as I downed them.

I took a seat in a free chair, unsure of what to do before a different nurse, one in hot pink scrubs with curly black hair and dark skin, found me.
"Ms. Avery?" She asked and I returned with a nod.
"I'm here to give you your schedule, you need to get on to your group session missy." She had pearly white teeth that she wasn't scared to show in a kind smile.
I stood and followed her, she handed me a singular sheet of paper that had an almost ridiculously strict schedule on it.

She led me down a few different halls in to a decent sized room, one that wasn't stark white but a pale yellow. There were a number of filled chairs in the form of a circle, I scnned over each person. I lady stood from a chair, greeting me over. I did so, taking the final free spot between a young shaggy haired boy and a middle aged woman with a dark bags under her eyes.

"Group, This is Ms. Bug Avery, she's new." She introduces me and I give a solemn wave. She has everyone introduce themselves before getting down to business. "Now, this is Group Psychotherapy. We mainly focus on depression and things of that sort in this specific group. If you would like, Ms. Avery, you can start us off."
I stare at the head nurse and blink a few times, me? Start? I cross my legs and arms over my chest.

"I'm not, too incredibly comfortable with sharing much so soon." I admit, holding my body tightly.
The head nurse nods understandingly, " Well would anyone else like to start us off?"
The boy beside me pushes a stray piece of blonde hair behind his ear before holding up his hand.
"Yes, Cory. You can start us off." She smiles at him and he begins talking.

I sat through the therapy session, the medicine kicking in causing me to feel hazy and dazed. I wasn't able to add anything to the conversation but I did try my best to listen and not doze off.
The rest of the day went by slowly and drawn out, I could hardly focus on anything and the one-on-one therapy session was fruitless.

I watched as the therapy nurse asked questions, I replied with a shrug or an 'I don't know'. It was like pulling teeth for her. I didn't know why I was being so difficult, maybe a part if me still didn't think I needed to be there. Maybe there was a fighting thought still not believing in the fact I had a problem..
Maybe I was just too scared to open up to people, even when it is their job. 

"Cooperation is Key." She let me leave with those words. "You won't be signed out without  having shown some signs of improvement." 
It made me angry at her specifically. As if she were doing this to me. It was irrational, I know.
I left her in a hurry, my face flushed with anger and stomped down the hall to the dining area for the last time that day. I wanted the day to be over, to eat, get my medicine and go to my room. 

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I finally lay in bed that night, the second dose of medicine kicking in as I stared at the ceiling. I could feel it pulling me back down, calming me in a sense.
I could only think of Brandon, I just wanted to be back home. Be back in his arms again. I wanted to fix us. But I needed to fix me first.

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Hey guys, so sorry for the late chapter and it being well, a bad chapter.
I had a rough weekend so I lost my motivation but I'll be trying my best to get on track once more. I will not drop this fic, I promise. Thank you for reading.