Not Good Enough

One

Another day of misery, I thought as I got dressed this morning. I can't wait until I graduate high school and finally be free of this torture.

"Amanda!" my brother, Adam, yelled. "Hurry up if you want to go to school, I'm leaving in five minutes!"

I walked out of my room. "I don't even want to go to school," I told him.

"Well, you know what happens if you skip school. Mom and Dad are not going to like it one bit. But if you want to risk it, go ahead. I'm leaving in five minutes. If you're coming, then you need to be in my car before I leave." He pushed me out of the way so he could get to the bathroom. I don't want to be punished again so I grabbed my backpack and head toward his car. He comes out a few minutes later.

"Looks like you're coming to school then," he mumbled as he starts the car and pulls out of the driveway.

"Yeah. I don't think I want to get in trouble today."

"At least your learning to be smarter. Keep them happy and you will be in less pain. High school will end soon enough and we'll both be free."

"I'm a sophomore, you're a senior, how will we both be free? You'll be gone once school is over in two months. Once you're gone all they'll have is me to pound on." I started to get upset at the thought of it.

"Don't worry about it. Soon it will be over. Just try your best and we'll get through it." We sat in silence the rest of the way to school. I couldn't help but think about what life would be like once Adam was gone. He at least tries to protect me. We arrived at the school and I hop out of the car and walk quickly in the building to just get school over with.

The first half of the school day went by with no problems. The worst part of my day was lunch. High school lunches have all four grades in them so I am a target for anyone. Too bad my brother isn't in this lunch, at least he could protect me. I doubt he would anyway. He would just blow me off and sit with his friends, I thought as I calmly sit at my empty table and eat my lunch when a girl who looks to be a junior walks up to me and just stares me down.

"Hi. Can I help you?" I said as politely as I could.

"No. I just saw your outfit and thought it needed an accessory," she said with a fake smile.

This doesn't feel right.

"What kind of accessories?" I asked.

"Oh, you know, a drink," and before I could even ask she dumped her bottle of water all over me. She laughed and walked back to her table.

People just stared at me. Some of them were laughing, others gave me a look of pity. I ran out of the cafeteria, dripping wet. At least I have a spare pair of clothes in my gym locker, I thought. I walked down to where the locker rooms were and right as I was going to turn the corner I saw Adam in his class. We locked eyes for a second and he motioned for me to wait. I saw him say something to the teacher and walked out the door.

"What happened to you? You're soaking wet." He asked as he touched my shoulder then wiped his wet hand on his pants.

"Some girl poured her water bottle on me," I whispered, trying not to cry.

"At least it was water this time," he jokingly said. I stared at him; he cleared his throat. "Alright, do you have any spare clothing you could change into?"

"I was on my way to the locker room. I started keeping clothes in there just in case."

"Good," he gave me a half hug, "if you need anything just come get me. Hang in there, Amanda. I got to go. The teacher thinks I'm in the bathroom." He gave me another hug and walks back in the classroom. I go in the locker room and change. I didn't want to go back to the cafeteria so I just sat in the locker room until the bell rang; then I went to my science class. I couldn't concentrate on anything. I doodle on my notebooks the rest of the day. Once the final bell rang I slowly walked to Adam's car. After about five minutes of waiting for him he finally showed up.

"Sorry I was later than usual. I had a talk with the principal."

"The principal? What happened?" I asked, shocked. He never gets in trouble.

"The principal saw me talking to you and wanted to know what happened."

"Are they calling Mom and Dad?" I asked in fear.

"Not this time. I told them that I will tell them and they would figure out what to do," he must've seen the look on my face because he said, "Don't worry, I'm not going to tell them. I'll just make up some story. We should get home, we don't want to be late." The ride home mostly silent. He tried to make small talk but I didn't listen. When we pull in the driveway, dad's car is already there. I look at my brother and he swallowed hard.

Dad beat us home. This is not good, I thought as I slowly got out of the car.

"Don't worry, maybe he is in a good mood today." Adam said.

"Adam, it's Tuesday, he's never in a good mood on Tuesdays."

"Hey, I'm trying to lighten the mood. Just remember to stay strong. You're going to be okay." We both take a deep breath and walk in the door. Dad is sitting in his favorite chair in the living room, with a beer in his hand.

"Well, look who's home." He says as he gets up. He walks up to Adam first and gives him a bro hug and he comes over to me. "Hi Amanda, did you have fun at school today?" He squeezes my shoulder, hard.

"Yes, Dad, I did." I say, trying not to wince at the pain.

"Good. But you know," he looked at the both of us, "you were late getting home, which means you need to be punished."

"Dad, please," Adam started.

"Don't even start with me, son," dad bellowed, "I don't want to hear anything from you. Get to your room. I'll deal with you later." Adam quickly walks to his room, looking back at me with a sad smile.

"As for you, young lady, you need to be home on time. And you also need to be in class. Your teacher called, you skipped lunch, and that is unacceptable. He raised his hand and he struck me straight in the head. The force knocked me to the floor. He kicked me a few times then picked me up by my hair. I couldn't help but to wince.

"You're a worthless daughter. This is why you need a small beating. Maybe it will teach you to be better." He punched me in the face and threw me back onto the floor. "Your worthless and I wish you would learn to be smarter than that; you should never skip class, even lunch. Your punishment today will be no supper since you like to skip lunch and you are to stay in your room until tomorrow when you will go to school and all of your classes. Understand?"

"Yes, Dad." I whimpered.

"Good." He gave me a sly smile. "Now get. I don't want to see you anymore." He kicked me towards the hallway and I got up and walked up the stairs and to my room as fast as I could. After I sat on my bed, Adam came bursting into the room.

"Hey," he whispered, "Are you okay? Any broken bones?"

"I don't think so, just bruises." He sat beside me and inspected me.

"You have a few bruises, but they don't look bad." He looked at my arm, there was a huge red mark that was starting to turn purple. He lightly brushed his fingers over it. I looked up at him, I could see tears in his eyes. I could tell it was tearing him up inside.

"It's okay, I said, "It barely hurts. Besides, I got through it, just like you said I would." He gave me a big hug.

"You did," he whispered, "you did, and I'm proud of you. But, you know it's not over. He'll be back, and so will Mom. But, you just have to stay strong."

"I know, and I am trying. You should get back to your room before Dad finds out you were here."

"Your right." He lets go of me and walks out the door as quietly as he could. Once I know he's gone I let all of my tears I held back out. I lay down on my bed and all the thoughts come out.

Why do they do this to me? Should I try to run away? If I do, they'll find me and I'll never leave the house. What if they go too far and they kill me? What if Adam gets drunk and turns on me, I'll have no one left. What if...