Not Good Enough

Ten

When I opened my eyes, everything around me was still blurry. I looked around and saw that I was still in the living room, and Adam was sitting in the chair across from me. He was staring at me, concentrating on something. Or thinking, I couldn't really tell. I tried to say something but nothing would come out. Adam approached and knelt down beside me.

"Hey. How are you feeling? You don't look too good" He asked quietly. I try to respond, but all that comes out is bile. Adam dodges out of the way in time then carries me up to the bathroom where I empty my stomach of all its contents. Once it's emptied I collapse onto the tiled floor. The coldness of them is soothing as my body feels like it's on fire. Adam watches me this whole time, in shock. Then his expression turns into deep concern.

"Oh boy. You look so pale. I'm pretty sure that's not your normal color." He said as he looks me over. "Where did he hurt you?" I point to my stomach and he lifts my shirt up to expose it. I dare myself to look down as I see a bruise that covers most of it and it has swelled so it looks like a huge bump. He slightly touched the area and I winced from the pain.

"Great. That can't be good," he states as he leans up against the bathroom wall.

"Where's Dad?" I whispered as I try to move. I just get up enough to sit up but then I go back to laying down to ease the pain more.

"He's downstairs. Luckily there is no school today because it is a teachers day. I think you may need to go to the hospital."

"No, I'm fi-" was all I could muster before another round of bile comes out of me. I empty out my stomach once more before I go back to laying down on the tiles.

"Are you kidding me? Look at you. I've never seen you this bad. This needs to end. And today." He walked out of the bathroom and I hear his footsteps getting softer and softer. I try and go after him, but the weakness in my legs keep me from going far. One minute later I heard him coming back, cracking the door open as he reenters.

"Don't worry," he begins, "this is going to work out somehow. I promise." He sits down slowly and in an awkward position as he waits for me to say something. Before I have a chance to, I hear loud footsteps coming up the stairs. I felt a tear roll down my face as Adam quickly wiped it off before the steps reached the door. When the door opens, Mom walked in, and her face seemed almost horrified at the scene she was looking at.

"Mom, Amanda needs to go to the hospital. It seems like it is really serious. Please can you let me take her there?" Adam asks as he stands up to face her. She stood there, shocked. Then she gathered herself and wiped the previous look off her face.

"I don't know, dear. She seems like she just is a little sick. She'll be fine. She can't be sick in this house anyway. Your father wouldn't like that. And he certainly doesn't believe that this family needs a hospital." She looked at me, and shook her head.

"Well look at her, she obviously is sick. And look at this," he lifts up my shirt enough to see the swelled bruise that has grown since I last looked at it. "See that? That is why she is becoming sick. Because that man down there hurt her so bad that she is literally dying because of it. She needs help. And I will get her it. With or without you." I look at mom as she looked over me. Tears started to well up in her eyes but she quickly wiped them away as if they were never there. She looks back at Adam.

"Your father is only trying to teach her what's right from wrong. If you can't except that then you shouldn't be part of the family," she sneers.

"I don't want to be part of this god awful family," he spat. Mom then raised a hand and slapped him across the face. At first, he just stood there. Then without hesitation, he slaps her right back. Mom gasps quickly pulled her hand to her face. She seemed surprised at his lash of anger.

"Look," she whispered, "it's not my decision, it's your fathers. I can't control his answers and I cannot speak against him. Just do what you want. But I can't help you." She ducks her head as she quickly walks out the door and down the stairs.

"That took a wrong turn," Adam mumbles as he looks back at me. Before he can walk towards me, I hear another loud thumping of footsteps up the stairs and by the door. This time it's Dad.

"What the hell did you do to your mother? She is in so much distress right now and I can't handle it," he fumed as he looked my brother straight in the eye. Do something! Say something? My thoughts were screaming at me, but I couldn't move.

"Look, Amanda is clearly in terrible condition and all I need is to take her to the hospital. One simple request is all I ask," he explains. Dad's expression remains blank.

"What do you mean, she is clearly and perfectly fine. Right, darling?" He looks at me and Adam turns his head as well. Speak up! This is your chance! Do something!

"I-I," was all I could say before I stopped, frozen in my tracks. Teas began flowing down my cheeks, hoping that was enough said about my pain.

"Clearly she is in serious pain. I need to do something. Please, Dad, let me get her some help," he pleaded.

"I don't know what you mean. She is fine. And the only place she is going is to her room to study for the school that she will absolutely not be skipping anymore. Now get to your room, son; and she will do the same." He turns to leave. 

"No."

"I'm sorry, what did you say to me?"

"You heard me, I said no. She needs help and I'm going to get her some no matter what you say."

"No your not!" Dad bellowed. "C'mon darling, you are going to your room. He pushed Adam out of the way and picks me up by my arm. I try to struggle free, but his grip is too tight. He gets me out into the hallway then Adam comes out and grabs Dad's arm, causing him to let go of me. I fall to the ground and shuffle a few feet away. Adam moves and gets in between us.

"Son, your playing a dangerous game here. Your lucky to be alive still, now get out of my way." He takes a step forward. But before he could take another, Adam reaches by his belt and pulls out the small hand gun he showed me before. He aims it near Dad's head.

"Don't take another step near her. You are not going to hurt her or me anymore." He keeps the gun nice and steady. Dad chuckles and puts his hands up theatrically.

"What? What are you going to do with that thing? Shoot me? You don't even know how to work the little thing anyways," he jokes. "Besides, I have never hurt either of you two precious kids. I only try to teach you to behave better. To make this family perfect."

"This family will never be perfect." Dad, enraged, takes a step towards him, moving his hands into fists. Before he reaches him, Adam pulls the trigger and the bullet hits him on his left side. Dad reaches for the wound and collapsed on the ground. Adam quickly comes towards me and picks me up to carry me downstairs. He sets me on the couch and grabs the phone hanging on the wall to call the ambulance. I look around for mom but she is nowhere to be found. I try to get up but the pain of it all forces me back down there. I can hear the groaning of Dad at the top of the steps and in the distance I can hear sirens.

This is it. It's finally over. I think about my butterfly drawing and I finally realize that I can now, too, be like the butterfly. I can now be free.