Killer Love: Sons Of Anarchy

Normal Day

Charlie

"Dit Da Jow?" Jax asked me as I placed the oil in my hands before rubbing it into my face. It had been a weird 72 hours. I hadn't spoken to him much after our fight the other morning. He had every right to question what was in my bag. I'm sure it did look like I was going to pick up and run from him. Given our history I understood why that was his first thought. Didn't make up for how much it hurt that he really thought that I would leave him and the boys.

"It heals bruises and helps with swelling and soreness." I told him. I looked over at him out of the corner of my eye. He was leaning against the doorframe in our bathroom, staring at me. His face read that he was sorry. I knew he was. I just didn't want to hear it anymore. I took in a breath before I spoke. Part of me didn't even want to bring up Alonzo but the other part of me realized that was the reason why we got into the fight in the first place. I was never ashamed about being with him. I loved him. He was a great guy who taught me who I was and still loved me for it. We were far better friends than we were lovers. We finally admitted that to each other after years of trying to force some great once in a lifetime passion between us. Jax was my greatest love- we both knew that.

"Alonzo gave it to me. I used to put it on him after he got into fights... then he used it on me when I started training." I told him. I held my breath waiting for him to say something, anticipating him to start another fight.

"I wish you had that years ago when you were putting packs of frozen peas on my face." He told me, giving me a small smile. I let out my breath and gave him one in return.

"Yeah it would have helped." I told him.

"Your face looks a lot better." He said. I nodded at his words. It was a lot better. The purple bruises were now blue and the blue ones were now a dark green. They were only a couple days away from being yellow and then they would be completely gone. Maybe I could put that horrific experience behind me once my body was healed. I pressed on my ribs and a hiss came out of my mouth. Still Tender... I told myself.

"Need help with your shower?" Jax asked me. I stood there for a second trying to figure out what to tell him. I wanted to say yes just so we could have sex and apologize to each other but I also didn't want to be in any more pain than I already was in. Sex probably would have been too much for me to handle right now.

"I can manage." I told him before carrying on with my normal morning routine: Shower, blow dry and style my hair, apply some make up. This morning I needed more makeup than I normally ever put on. I hated wearing makeup. It was a pain to me; Not to put it on because that came easy but to keep it looking the same all day. I touch my face all day without ever noticing. To have makeup on just doesn't work. I would be walking around with smudges and smears on my face before I would ever notice. I walked into the bedroom and found Jax sitting on the bed. He looked like he was lost in thought. We were both walking on eggshells around each other. Trying not to set the other one off. We still hardly spoke a word to each other. I was grateful for it because I didn't really know how to get back to where we were a couple weeks ago. I wanted more than anything to have a normal day with him. It seemed out of reach right now. Too much had happened for us to just hop back in our false reality.

"Gemma here?" I asked him. I knew she had to be. The boys were too quiet for her not to be. I just needed an excuse to talk to him.

"Yeah. She's here." He spoke up. I grabbed some black jeans from the dresser and slid them on. I looked up into the mirror of the dresser to see Jax staring at me.

"Why didn't you tell me about him?" He asked me. His voice was soft. He didn't want to fight about it and neither did I.

"I was planning on it. I just didn't, I honestly couldn't tell you why." I told him. There wasn't a particular reason why I didn't. I just didn't think it was anyone's business besides the two of us. To us it was just a chapter in our lives that we kept to ourselves.