Killer Love: Sons Of Anarchy

Love, Dad

Charlie

"Can you tell me what room Lucas Monroe is in please?"I asked the nurse at the front desk.
"He was in room 24 but he's not in there anymore." I told her. She looked up at me for a half a second before her eyes landed on Jax. Her face lit up as she gave him a sweet smile.
"Hey Jax..."She cooed out and I rolled my eyes.
"Really?"I turned to look at him and he just shrugged and smiled at her.
"Hey...Jennifer."He said looking at her name tag.
"What can I help you with?"She asked him in the most flirtatious tone. I crossed my arms over my chest letting out a deep breath through my nose.
"Just trying to figure out which room Lucas Monroe is in." He told her. His hand touching my back trying to calm me down.
"Mr. Monroe... He is in. I42." She said.
"ICU is right behind those doors on your left." She said with a smile.
"Thanks Sweetie." He said and nodded. Pulling me with him.
"Unbelievable.."I told him and he just chuckled.
"She didn't even know I was there. I mean Jax I know you're sexy but still. In New York, I could even turn a straight woman." I told him.
"A little cocky aren't we?" He said, flashing me a grin.
"I was heart broken...I did some things, had some fun."I told him, grinning back and bumped into him.
"When you say 'somethings' what exactly does that mean?" He asked me and I shook my head laughing.
"You wouldn't be able to handle it."I told him and he raised an eyebrow. Seeing the room numbers my heart started to sink. It finally got to me that my dad was in ICU. He was getting worse while I was doing what? Playing house with Jax.

40...41..42..

My heart stopped. Standing outside the door. My head was on the handle but I couldn't turn it.
"I'm right here Charlie. We can do this together." He told me and I nodded pushing the handle down and opening the door. In the room there was complete silence besides the beeping sound coming from the heart monitor. Walking into the room slowly I went next to the bed.
"Hey dad..."I said softly, placing my hand on his arm. I smiled softly then it soon turned into a frown seeing the shape that he was in. I sat down in chair next to him.
"I brought Jax with me..." I told him and let out a light laugh that turned into a sigh.
"How long has he been like this?"Jax asked.
"I was talking to him yesterday...Something must have happened last night." I told him.
"He's breathing on his own..I'm guessing he's just asleep but he's also been a very heavy sleepier lately." I told him.
"What does he have?"He asked walking closer to me.
"Leukemia..."I told him.
"He didn't want chemo.. Refused actually." I said and sighed.
"He was fine up until two months ago. Everything just started breaking down..."I told Jax, touching my father's arm lightly. I smiled seeing his hand twice.
"Charlie?" My dad said. His eyes were still closed but at least he recognized that I was there.
"Hey dad..." I told him. He cleared his throat and opened his eyes.
"Jackson?" He asked as he looked at Jax. I watched as Jax nodded at him.
"Hey Lucas. How you holding up?" He asked him.
"Cancer is a bitch." He said and I let out a little chuckle.
"You tell him?" He asked me and I nodded.
"Yeah Dad..I told him and you were right. I feel a lot better." His hand squeezed mine.
"Proud of you baby girl." He rasped out and I gave him a smile.
"You planning on breaking my daughter's heart again Jackson?" He asked him. I looked up at Jax who shook his head at him.
"No sir I'm not."He said. I watched as my dad sat with that for a while trying to catch his breath.
"Good." He said finally. He squeezed my hand once again.
"It tore her apart last time. I know you know that- I told you that." He said and Jax nodded. I narrowed my eyes on them both.
"You told him what?" I asked.
"He broke your heart Charlie, you thought I wasn't gonna say anything to him?" He asked me and I rolled my eyes at him. I vividly remember telling him not to speak to Jax and just give him the cold shoulder. I should have known that he wouldn't have listened to me.
"He beat the shit out of me." Jax said with a chuckle.
"And I let him. I knew I deserved it." Jax looked up at me.
"Now I know just how much I deserved it..." he said. There was sadness in his while he looked at me. He looked back down at my dad
"You'll take care of her?" He asked Jax.
"I will." Jax said back.
"You're staying then?" He asked me and I gave him a shrug. My teeth started chewing on the inside of my lip. I hadn't actually made up my mind yet on if I was going to stay. My heart wanted me to. But there was still a part of me that wanted to run. Save myself from any pain that could come out of this.
"I have a month to decide..." I told him. My father took another pause. Letting himself catch his breath. I looked into his green eyes that were much like my own. He really was worse. His gray full head of hair was greasy and unkept. His olive tone skin was now pale. He was once a strong man. A General in the Army who brought his family to his wife's hometown to retire and be buried in. He retired with her when we moved here. He taught me everything I knew about cars and my love for motorcycles came from him.
"Jackson get my bag in the closet..." He started. Jax did as he was told and sat the bag down in the recliner in the room.
"The green folder." He said. I looked over at Jax as he dug through the bag until he found it.
"It's the lease to the studio..." he said.
"The previous tenants moved out bout a year ago. It needs some cleaning up but it's still yours. Have it transferred in your name, will you? I'll sign the paperwork before I go." He told me. The tears that had been building up had no choice but to fall.
"Okay Dad." I told him as I sat down next to him on his hospital bed. He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed my knuckles.
"If she's gonna stay. What's been going on in charming- has to stop. I don't want her-" he started but stopped as he started coughing. His monitors started beeping and his hand broke away from mine and went to his chest.
"Dad?" I asked as I stood up watching him struggle to breathe.
"We need some help in here!" Jax yelled out the door as a nurse came running in.
"He's starting to code. Someone call Dr. Martin." The nurse said to the other nurse.
"What's happening to him?" I asked her
"I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to leave Ms. Monroe." She told me.
"No she's not leaving."Jax told her
"I can't work on him properly until she out of the room." She told me as she put an oxygen mask on him.
"We'll be in the waiting room." I told her. I looked over at my father who had a team of nurses around him. I pulled Jax out of the room l with me. Once we were in the hallway. I let out a deep breath that I didn't even know I was holding.
"You okay.?"He asked me and I shrugged, wiping a tear off my cheek.
"You know when my dad dies, I literally have no family after that. Both my mom and dad were an only child and so was I..."I stopped, I could feel the tears building up again. The familiar burn in my throat as I swallowed it trying not to cry. Suck it up Charlie... you've been crying too much today.
"I don't have any kids Jax. I'm not married. I have some friends in New York but that's it. I just have myself. And the reality of that scares me." I told him before I knew it he had me in an embrace that was so familiar my body knew what to do naturally. My arms wrapped around his waist holding onto him. He pulled away for a moment to look at me.
"You have me..."He whispered to me.
"And if you would have them. The boys would love for you to be in their lives. Thomas already seems to have taken a liking to you."He said. He pulled away enough to look me in my eyes.
"I don't need to tell you that the club will be there for you. And you know that my mom has always loved you. I think she's been rooting for you to come back since the day you left." He said to me, His hands moved my hair out of my face.
"You really want to do this with me again?" I asked him. He nodded his head at me. His eyes staring into my soul.
"Yeah I do." He said. My hands grabbed fistfuls of the leather on his back. It had only been a day. I was supposed to give myself a month before I decided but I was kidding myself. Part of me knew that I wasn't leaving the moment I got here. The other part of me was hoping that I would run like hell. But I was never a runner. Now that he knew the secrets I was keeping and I knew the truth about him pushing me away. There was nothing for me to resent anymore. I pulled away from him to lean against the wall behind me. I looked down at the green folder he was holding. If anything I trusted my father's judgment over mine. If he somehow knew that I wouldn't be leaving Charming after he passed then who was I to fight against that. I took the folder from Jax and opened it. There was a note paper clipped to the paperwork underneath:

"My baby girl, I always knew that you wouldn't run forever and find your way back home.
Love, Dad"
I thought he had sold my studio but he was saving it for me. He knew that I would eventually come back and fall right back into what I meant to be doing. Loving this man in front of me. I needed answers before I made up my mind. I didn't want to be a rebound. I meant that when I told him that last night in the roof.
"If this happened a couple years ago... Tara still around. Would you still be trying this hard?" I asked him. I watched as he took in a breath then let it out slowly.
"I can't lie to you Charlie... it would've been hard. I tried really hard to make it work with Tara. But I don't think I could have kept myself away from you. That would have made Tara feel insecure. I'm sure you two would have gotten into it." He said and I let out a puff of air.
"Probably." I told him. I should have kicked her ass back then but I stopped myself. I blamed Jax for it and hated her for being dumb enough to fall for his charm when everyone knew he was mine.
"If you're asking me if I would've chosen you over her... I've always chosen you over anyone." He said to me. I believed him. In his own way I knew he only did it to protect me. I knew that years ago. It was the only way he knew how.
"I have kids now... and I have to put them first. I hate to ask you do the same but as their father I have to make sure they're loved and protected" He told me. I let my hand run up the buttons on his flannel.
"I always wanted a family with you Jax... I promise I'll put them first as if they were mine." I told him. That was the very least I could do for Tara. To make sure that her boys were raised in a loving home and protected for as long as I lived.
"Ms. Monroe." Dr. Martin said as he walked over to us. I pushed myself off the wall to face him.
"How is he?" I asked him.
"He's stable. He's getting worse. The cancer has spread to his lungs. He coded last night as well which is why we moved him to the ICU. We have him on oxygen so that should help a little. I would start getting his affairs in order..." he told me. I figured as much. My father would have never asked me to come down if it wasn't serious. He had just about gotten everything together besides a few things.
"But he's resting now."He finished.
"Can you make him comfortable?" I asked him and he gave me a nod.
"Of course. I'm sorry, Charlie." He said and I waved off his words. I knew my dad was bad. I knew it was coming. But it still didn't make it easy to hear. I leaned into Jax when I felt his hand on back.
"Anything I can do to help?" He asked me. I looked up at him. If we were really about to go down this path together then I wanted to seal it. Claim him as mine all over again.
"Can I work on my bike?" I asked him. He tilted his head at me, confused by my words.
"Can I watch?"He asked me and I looked over at him.
"I want you to help me." I told him, smirking.
"Oh yeah?" He asked now knowing what I was asking him for. He pulled me in for a kiss and I returned it grabbing his cut in my hand again.  He pulled away from me. His eyes looked hungry. Hungry enough to devour me in this hallway in front of everyone.
"Alright then. Let's get you out of here." He told me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and I did the same with my arm around his waist as we walked down the halls of the hospital.