The stare off between us was so intense you could feel the static and the tension in the air. It made it hard to breathe... hard to move and just looking at him was making it hard for me to think. I barely even heard Gemma say that would give us some time to catch up. I stood there motionless waiting for him to say something, to do something; to turn around and walk out the door and leave me in this space so I could breathe again, but that's not what he did. Jax took the first move to step forward walking out of the doorway into the office so he could close the door behind him. I jumped slightly hearing the click of the lock on the door.
"What are you doing here?" He said, his soft blue eyes piecing into my green ones.
"My dad...He's dying. Only has a little bit longer."I told him, still frozen in my spot.
He nodded softly as if he was trying to wrap his mind around the situation we were in. He took one step toward me and I wished that I could have taken one step back but instead I took one forward, giving him the okay to approach me.
"I'm going to hug you but not for that reason." He told me as the corners of his mouth pulled into a smile.
"Okay." I said softly, taking another step toward him. My heart was beating so hard and fast I swear he could hear it.
Jax nodded his head as if he was processing my approval. He closed the empty space between us looking down at me before his arms slowly wrapped around my waist as my arms went around his neck resting on top of his shoulders.
The hug started out awkward and distant at first like the hug I shared with Gemma but his arms soon tightened around me pulling me closer to him getting rid of any space that was left between us. My body was pressed flush against his. He gave me a quick squeeze, almost as if he was checking to see if I was real so I gave him a squeeze in return.
I was doing the same thing in reality, all of this seemed to be like a dream. One that I used to have almost every night. I couldn't tell if that was his heart beating fast or my own as his chest was pressed against mine.
"Charlie..."He whispered into my ear nuzzling his face into my long chocolate locks of hair. Confirming that it was actually me. I smiled lightly just from hearing the excitement in his voice. My arms tightened around him and he gave me another squeeze as he took in a deep breath of my scent.
Gemma was right. I did miss him.
Breaking the embrace he pulled away from me only slightly to look at my face, his blue eyes studied every freckle on my face. His hands were still placed on my waist, holding me in place. My hands slid down to his chest and I had to calm myself from getting excited that he felt more muscular than what I remembered.
"You haven't changed a bit. Still gorgeous as ever." Heat slowly crept to my cheeks hearing his slowly hearing his words as I smiled up at him.
"Neither have you. You cut your hair. Thank god." I told him, smiling wider hearing his chuckle. My hand moved to rest on his cheek as my eyes looked over every feature of him. He looked like he had been through hell. I could tell that these last few years hadn't been the best to him. He looked beaten up and worn down. But somehow he still made that look sexy. His eyes held so much sadness and anger when he first walked through the door. They were more gentle now but I could still see the sorrow in them no matter how much he tried to cover it it.
"You okay?" I asked him looking into those sapphire eyes that I used to know so well. He started to nod and say yes before he looked down away from my gaze and spoke.
"Can't lie to you Charlie..." He said, pain and sadness lacing his words.
"It's okay...."I told him my voice above a whisper. Dropping my hand I pulled him into another hug. I was so busy trying to push back my feelings for him I didn't even notice that my heart was slow, beating in time with his. I was right back were I used to be putting his feelings over mine. Constantly worrying about him and his happiness instead of my own. Pulling away, my hand lightly ran down his hair and I smiled at him.
"Do you really need a ride home or is Gemma just being Gemma?"
I laughed at his comment before speaking.
"A little of both. My bike is getting fixed so yeah I need a ride. Dad already sold the house so I don't have a home to go to but I wanted a ride to the hospital."I told him.
"Do you need a place to stay?"He asked and I shook my head.
"No, I'll stay at the motel at the edge of town so I can be close to the hospital." I told him. I raised a brow at him as he shook his head at my words.
"You can't stay at that motel." He told me.
"And why not?" I asked him.
"Charming is different... It's not the same as when you left. That motel is sketchy now. I wouldn't feel comfortable with you staying there. You could stay here if you want." He told me. There goes my heart again.
"Jax.." I said.
"Believe me that motel is a shit hole now.." He told me glancing toward the club house.
"So you want me to stay at the club, probably in your old room. And I'll either look like a random whore or your Old Lady... The guys were already staring at me when Gemma came out into the shop to see me"I said putting my hands back into my jacket pockets.
"You're not a whore, anyone can see that and you used to be my Old Lady." He smirked at me. My tattoo was starting to burn on my shoulder blade hearing him say Old Lady. Seeing his smirk I had to look away. He always could talk me into anything with that smirk and I could say never no once I saw it.
"Yeah I know... That was a long time ago..." I said trying to move past that painful memory. If I had it my way I would still be his old lady.
"I'll stay for a day or two until I get a hotel in the next town over." I told him.
"Still so stubborn. You can stay as long as you need to. I'll give you the key. It should be clean I haven't slept there in a while."He told me.
"Gemma invited me to dinner. That fine with you?" I asked him.
"Of course she did," Jax said with a laugh. I couldn't help but to join him.
"If you want to come, I have no problem with it."He said to me. My eyes looked him over again but this time I let my eyes take in every inch of him. He was still wearing jeans about a size too big with white sneakers to match his white shirt that I was sure he had on underneath his black hoodie.
"Wow.." I said as my eyes landed on the President patch on his cut.
"What?" He questioned.
"You're President now,"I said simply. I looked up at him and he nodded,
"I told you Charming has changed a lot."
"Apparently so." I replied. I watched as his eyes seemed to do the same thing I had just done to him.
"What's on your mind Teller?" I asked him. My body was starting to crawl in the best way possible as his hungry eyes looked me over.
"You wanna catch some air?"He asked me and I nodded knowing what he meant. It used to be our code for being completely honest and transparent with each other. We'd go up to our spot on the room and just talk it out. That was the one thing that I took with me in my relationships after Jax. Being so honest with each other was the only reason we made it so long. I followed him out of the office and across the parking lot until we reached the latter to the roof. He started to climb and I followed. My heart was squeezing in my chest once more knowing that we were going to our spot. Once he got to the top he turned around and grabbed my hands helping me up. I frowned at him and he started to grin.
"Still Independent. I see."He told me.
"I'm still the same girl." I told him, wiping my hands on jeans.
"Just older." I walked over to our spot and sat down patting the space next to me.
"You remember." I rolled my eyes at him and smirked.
"Of course I do. Lost my virginity up here. Some of my best memories were made on this roof."
He nodded sitting down next to me.
"Me too... Both actually." He looked over at me and I nudged his arm with mine.
"Now, what do you want to know?"I asked him staring into his eyes giving him a wide smile
"I could ask you the same thing." He told me, staring back into my eyes, coping my smile before he gave me a chuckle. At that moment, I felt as if I wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon and not just today but the next few days that followed.
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Killer Love: Sons Of Anarchy
FanfictionKiller Love is set a year after the horrible tragedy of Tara's death. Jax is still mourning the death of his wife and he's trying to figure how to be a single father while also being the President of SAMCRO. Jax still doesn't know who killed his wif...