count to ten; a.i

S I X

SIX

I wasn't pregnant. I took six pregnancy tests to make sure, and cried to find out that the result was the exact same as every other time. Negative.

But I appreciated Amelia, and that was that.

I finally got my degree in our sixth year, but it was a hard journey. I'd rented a small apartment near campus, and that meant that you and I were travelling to see each other every few days and to exchange Amelia for a kiss.

But finally I got there, and moved back in with you after finding a councelling job a little more that fourty minutes away from our little apartment.

You told me you were sorry we didn't live in a big house with a dog and lillies growing on our front lawn, but I didn't care. You were all that I ever dreamt of.

You promised me, though, that one day we would live in a house. And that when we could afford it, we could have more little Amelia's running around.

Six months after that promise was made, we got married. It was a beautiful ceremony, and though it was neither spectacular or traditional, it was the best day of my life - except perhaps Amelia's birth.

After the ceremony, your best friend (someone called Calum) gave a very strange speech about "the good old days". Your parents then came up to us, and everything changed when they handed us a little white cheque donned with their signatures.

"It may not be much," your mum had said. "but it's enough to get you started. Amelia needs this, and I'm sure you want her to have it."

I hugged your parents and couldn't say thank you enough, because I knew that this would make our dreams of a house come true.

It only took us about six weeks to find our dream house, and by another month, we were moving in.

Amelia had grown so much, and she was the cutest baby I'd ever seen. She was a little over eighteen months when we moved in, and to celebrate you told me something when we were lying in bed one night.

"Ava, I want to give you another child," You said to me. "Before it's too late,"

I didn't know what you meant by 'too late', but in hindsight I realised that you had seen a lot of things happen in your lifetime, and you didn't want something bad to happen again and tear you away from me. So you wanted to leave behind another piece of yourself. Just in case.

And as we made love, I knew. I knew this time that there was a child inside of me.

Our child.

'I love you, Ashton,' I whispered to you as we lay panting in bed. You only responded with a kiss before I fell asleep to dreams of you, you, you.