count to ten; a.i

F O U R

 FOUR

I'll never understand how we made it through the fourth year, but I'm so glad that we did.

With me at Uni most of the year, the little time that we spent together resulted in fighting.

But at least that resulted in some epic make-up sex.

We were young – I was twenty two and you were twenty-seven, but we were at different places. I just wanted to have a good career, but you had been there and done that.

You wanted to settle down, and you didn't hide your feelings. I loved that about you, and I loved that you were still the same old Ashton. The confident boy, who told me flat out how beautiful I was, when the one person who was meant to be telling me that wouldn't.

That night, you asked me what I would say if you asked me to marry you. I loved that idea, but not now. Not while everything was going so well for me, for once. I just wanted things to be perfect. I wanted the plan I'd conjured in year 3 to become reality.

But things never go as planned, do they, Ashton?

And I said it wasn't right - that I wasn't ready.

And we fought for hours, but we made up. Like we always do.

Four weeks later, I got called out of a lecture and sent to the nurse on campus.

My room mate had told a lecturer that I had been sick the past few weeks and he let the nurse know, who then made me go to her for a check up.

Then I heard four words that would change my life forever.

“Miss Silver, you're pregnant.”

I called you up as soon as I got back to my dorm room, and told you after minutes of hesitation. Tears were streaming down my face as I blurted out the confession, knowing that this was the end. But then, a few seconds later, I heard the only four words that could calm me down.

“I love you, okay?

“I love you too.'

And so began my journey to motherhood.

Four months into my pregnancy, I was forced to go off campus - something about it being illegal to keep a pregnant woman in a stressful environment like uni.

I considered going to my parents' place, but I knew that if I did I'd only be spending my time wishing I was with you. So you picked me up from a train station after a long day at your work, and it was just like it was before.

Although you couldn't exactly throw me into the air.

I was growing at an alarming rate and I was worried you'd hate me for it, because I wasn't the same.

I was never going to be the same after childbirth.

As we lay in your bed that night, I confessed my worries to you.

But you said,

"I love you, Ava. I always will. And I will love this little girl or boy even more,"

and I said,

"You are mine, and I am yours,"

Then we fell asleep in each others arms, our legs entangled together, my body pushed up against yours, and your hand protectively wrapped around my belly.

It was then that I knew for certain that you were the one. The one that I wanted to share all my kisses with, dance all my dances with, and have all my children with.

I wanted to marry you, Ashton.