"He's in there, Mrs. Halstead, but he's really in really bad shape. Please refrain from touching him anywhere else than his hand.", a nurse instructed Erin before she was let into his room in the ICU.
"I'm not his wife.", Erin corrected and took a deep breath to prepare herself for what was expecting her inside.
He looked worse than she imagined. His whole face was beaten up, and he had several bruises all over his arms. The hardest thing to see though, was the tube that went down his throat to breathe for him. Erin immediately knew that he must be in very bad shape. She took a timid step forward, almost like she was afraid to startle him and harm his healing process if she moved too fast in his direction. Her tears fell freely on her shirt and she just couldn't be bothered to wipe them away.
After all this was Jay. The person she never had to hide her feelings from. The person she was most honest to. The person whom she loved more than anything in this world. And now there was a possibility that she would never get to tell him. This was on her and there was no way she was able to forgive herself if he passed.
Erin took another step towards the hospital bed. He looked so small amongst all the machines around him, fighting to keep him alive. She wrapped her arms around herself and began to sob. Her whole body shook violently and she couldn't surpress the sounds anymore. "I'm so sorry, Jay. This is all my fault. It's all on me. Please, wake up again so that I can make it up to you. You have to wake up!" She had to force each word out and her voice was trembling so badly, it was hard to understand her. Not that it mattered anyway. Noone was there who could hear her words. No one but the comatose Jay. Erin knew that there was a possibility of him hearing everything, but chances were low that he was able to process the sounds to words. She reached out to touch his hand and as soon as the physical connection was there, she overcame her fear and sat down next to him.
The chair was uncomfortable and hard to sit on, but Erin never left his side.
YOU ARE READING
Desolation
FanfictionErin is heartbroken. Within a year she had lost a brother, her whole Unit, the love of her life, her home, and a father figure. Her new job in New York is interesting enough to keep her going but she still misses her old district. "Don't look back"...
