Desolation

Chapter 8

Erin sat in the cafeteria and downed a sandwich that tasted like paper. She didn't even feel how food deprived she really was until she fainted in Jays hospital room and one of the nurses scolded her for forgetting herself. So after the nurse made sure she really only collapsed due to a lack of food, she let Erin go again, not without ordering her to go and get something to eat. 

Jay had been shot 4 days ago and she refused to leave his side, even after visitation hours ended, she just showed the nurses her badge and was allowed to stay the night. In a way, Erin was afraid she'd get a call in the middle of the night, telling her that Jay died. She didn't want him to die alone. He had told her a couple of years ago that he wasn't really afraid of dying anymore, his time in the army helped him build a resistance and he was now able to lock that thought away for sometime in order to function. However, he was afraid of dying alone. Without his loved ones. And there was no way in hell, she would let him die alone in a hospital bed, surrounded by unknown nurses and doctors. 

She didn't want him to die in any case, but Erin understood his fear. Who wouldn't want to spend their last moments on this earth with friends and family? Family. They really could have been a family, had he not left her. And had she not left for New York. They both screwed their relationship up.

Erin shook her head. That was not the topic right now. The only thing that was important was that Jay wakes up again and gets better. The rest wasn't important anymore.

After finishing two sandwiches she went back to the vending machine and stood in line behind two nurses. 

"Can you believe that? He was shot in the line of duty and now he just died? He was a hero and he payed for that with his life, how unfair is that?", one of the nurses whispered and proceeded to buy a chocolate bar.

The other nurse nodded. "I still can't believe it. He was doing so good and I really thought he'd pull through. Don't know what happened. He just crashed and was gone."

A dead police officer. Someone who worked for the police just died. Jay works for the police. He's been shot in the line of duty.

"No! No. No. Nooo. Please not him. This can't be right.", Erin screamed, everyone in the cafeteria stared at her and watched her collapse for the second time today. This can't happen. Jay was fine when she left him an hour ago. He was stable and his stats were good and now he's just gone?

Tears were streaming down Erins face and she curled up in a fetal position. She didn't care that it was in the middle of a hosiptal. Jay was gone. She'd never get to tell him how sorry she was. He'd never be able to scream at her for leaving without a word. She'd never be able to tell him how much she loved him still and that she had wanted to come back to Chicago the minute her plane touched down in New York. He'd never laugh again.