For Your Eyes Only

10

I wake up to the sun making the back of my eyelids orange. Instantly, the color gives me a migraine. Cracking one eye open, I come straight to a tall mirror. Propping myself up onto my elbow I look at myself in it.

My straight blonde hair is rustled and puffed in various areas and my mascara raccoons my eyes in the worst sort of way.

"Shit," I mutter horrified at my appearance. I reach down for the water that Nate had offered me last night and take a large gulp hoping that it would mellow my horrible morning breath. I could still taste alcohol in the back of my throat.

I am on a large neon green beanbag next to Nate's bed. Conversation from last night hits me like a bus.

"Nate, are you sure you're okay with me staying here? I don't want to intrude."

Nathaniel's face whitened at my words. We were no longer sitting on his couch but had moved to his bedroom upstairs. It was innocent because he wanted to show me his album collection but I couldn't lie and say that being in his room excited my frazzled brain.

We had gone to listening to a punk rock band instead of Cabrera. In fact, the slamming of drums and guitars were starting to make me feel nauseated. I took another drink of water.

"Y-yeah. Sure. Um, you can take the bed and I will take the floor so you don't have to walk back down the stairs."

"We've already discussed this," I said shaking my head. I didn't want him put out on me staying if it meant moving him out of his comfort zone. I flopped down with gusto onto a bean bag that was set in the middle of his room and made myself comfortable. "I'm fine right here."

"Are you sure?"

I playfully ignored him because something told me he wasn't going to let up. 

He was so polite, it threw me off. I wasn't used to boys acting this way. Usually they were commanding and were always trying to impress you with something superficial such as how much they could bench or how much money they make. But all Nate wanted was to impress me with his album collection which, indeed, impressed me. There were a few bands I have never heard of that I would now go home and download.

"Hey, Nate," I had said right before my eyes had closed. I could hear him rustling under his covers. I wanted to ask him if there was a nightlight that he could possibly turn on because little old me was afraid of the dark still. I guess, not so much afraid, than eery. Okay, fine, yes, I was afraid of the dark.

Nate hummed from above me in his bed.

It suddenly crossed my mind if the darkness that had now blanketed us with all the lights off and the sun still sleeping, was similar to what it was like for Nate all the time. A shiver slithered itself down my spine.

I decided then to not complain about the darkness.

"Thank you," I said instead.

"For what?" He asked. He was laying on his back and his eyes were closed.  I wanted to also ask him if it was any different than keeping his eyes open...Which, of course, I knew was just the remains of the alcohol talking. I had more respect than that. We were still strangers after all.

I don't know if I was thanking him for letting me stay the night, or maybe for letting me be his first kiss. Or maybe even just being kind to me when I truly didn't deserve it from him. But a rush of something flooded through me and tears sprung in my eyes.

He is such an angel. A gentle, glowing, warm angel that made so much light in all the darkness.

And I was completely smashed.