For Your Eyes Only

27

I hook my foot on the downspout and lift my weight onto the ivy vine leading up to Nate's window. I watch my footing, afraid of making too much noise and his parents will run out with a flashlight to see that it's only little ol' me, sneaking into their son's bedroom like the midnight bandit.

When I get eye level with Nate's window frame, I can see him sitting at his desk, a lamp lit beside him, and his headphones in his ears. He is blankly staring off into space.

I tap on the window. His eyes shoot in my direction and his brows lower in confusion.

I take a try at lifting up his window, thinking it may be locked, but am surprised when it lifts up effortlessly.

"You sure are trusting," I comment, hoisting myself up and through the window.

"What are you doing?" Nate asks while removing his headphones. "Did you just climb up the tressel?"

I don't know why he is so surprised. He knew I climbed out the window this morning.

"Your parents were just asking for trouble by placing that so close to your window."

His eyes lock on my silhouette that has moved to stand in the shadowed corner of his room for his benefit. His face is one of a professional poker player, giving nothing away. The only lack of a shield is his chest is rising and falling noticeably.

Just by being in the same room as me, he is affected as much as I am.

The light coming from his desk acts like a giant spotlight, highlighting what I was about to do. My mouth suddenly becomes dry and my heart rate speeds up to the point that I'm sweating.

Nate says nothing and for once, neither do I. I just stare back at him, mesmerized by every thing that makes him, Nate. His soody lashing that frame his eyes, his now shaggier hair that curls perfectly around his slim face, his tongue, as it darts out and wettens his perfectly bow shaped lips.

I take one step towards him and then stop. This could go one of two ways.

One: Nate could admit that he loves me back or,

Two: Nate could go screaming for the hills and I will lose whatever we have forever.

We have both openly admitted that we have strong feelings for each other but using the term 'strong feelings' is less intimidating than the L word.

I open my mouth to speak but shut it again, letting out an aggravated sigh. I don't know how to say it. I've never told someone I loved them before. Not even Danny. He said it often after we had dated for a few month but I was never able to say the bold I love you back because it was just so darn perminate. Call me an old fashioned romantic, but I have always figured love is forever.

"Kelly?" Nate asks. His hands extend outward, reaching for me. Just so he doesn't have to stumble in the dark, I meet him halfway. He grips my hands loosely before intertwining his fingers through mine. We fit so well with his large hands and long slender fingers cocooning my small ones.

There are several types of love. There's the kind that comes from obsession and lust. Your day starts and ends with the thought of them and your body comes alive when they are near you.

Then there's the companionship, love. The kind of loyalty and faith.

And then there is the Nate love. The kind that blossoms so suddenly that it takes your breath away and all common sense along with it. It's a loyalty so fierce that it's rabid. It's the love that buries inside your bone marrow and settles there to become a permanent part of you, painful to retract. My love for Nate cuts so raw it's embedded in my bones forever, never to give me a break from realising that I am obsessed and craze at the mere thought of him. I adore him more than he or anyone could ever fathom.