For Your Eyes Only

36

The grass is soft under my bare feet as I make my way from my backyard to Nate's. My stomach coils with nerves and I pull my sweater lower against my palms as a nervous habit as I duck under a low tree branch.

I nearly jump out of my skin when I see Nate pacing on the other side of the tree near his patio doors. I must have gasped at the sight of him or maybe I stepped on a branch, but for whatever reason, he stops and locks eyes with mine.

"You came," he says as if he wasn't believing what he is seeing.

His face, always clear now without his glasses obstructing the view of those wishing to admire him, looks serene but slightly distracted. 

I stay by my spot at the tree and play more with the sleeves of my sweater. "Of course I did. You asked me to." My voice is off, nervous--terrified, really--as I watch him, watching me.

It's still so strange to know that he can actually see now.

I want to know what he sees in me. Does he see what I see? A stupid girl who can't seem to get her head out of the clouds? Or does he see someone different?

By the way he is gazing at me as I take a step towards him, there is no doubt in my mind that he sees something that I do not.

And after everything, I can't for the life of me understand why he asked me here tonight. There has been no word from him, though I have not given up hope. Hope is a human's best friend when it comes to loving someone. You hope they understand your flaws, you hope they see your intentions, you hope that they love you back.

"Still..." Nate's chest moves up and down in one deep breath. He is nervous too.

His eyes, so dark and shadowed under the moonlight, light up in the way that only books or song lyrics describe as I walk to him. They twinkle and show exactly what is going through his mind like a movie reel. He has hope too but there is more lurking behind his golden gaze. But I can't watch those emotions for too long because not all of them are happy.

When I am a foot or two away from him, I stop. I can already feel my heartrate pick up at the close proximity to him.

"I just didn't think you would come," Nate adds and he swallows, making his adam's apple bob in an intriguing way.

I can't help but smile a little at that. I point back towards the yard between us. "I can head back through the hedges if you like."

Nate anxiously chuckles and the sounds brings goosebumps to my flesh. His laugh is such an enticing noise. And it feels like forever since I have heard it.

I wrap my arms around my torso when the night breeze carries his laughter away. Nate notices this and his head angles towards a pile of blankets that lay sprawled out on the grass by his patio.

I cock an eyebrow in his direction. This is not what I was expecting. I thought maybe he wanted to talk things through. Heck, I wanted us to because then maybe, just maybe, we could move forward. The two of us. Together.

He blushes and it amuses me that I can see the red tint even under the moonlight. Nate shoves his hands into his pockets of his grey hoodie in the way that he used to when I first met him. This makes me raise my eyebrows more.

"I thought maybe this could be a common ground."

I wanted to snort at that. It was metaphorical, kind of, to me. Common ground with Nate was anywhere under the same sky. Him and I will always rotate on the same axis, always find ways to look up at the sky to thank our lucky stars for guiding us to each other.

I know for certain that I will. But I can't speak for him.

Nate changed me for the better and I would like to think I had a positive impact on him too. He has come out of his shell, even before his surgery. He smiled more. He also didn't stutter as much as before. But most importantly, he allowed someone to get close to him. And I will always praise the fact that it was me to help him with all of this because he is an amazing guy who deserves to smile more and to love and to be loved.