More Than This

Chapter 5

《Addisons POV》

After what felt like forever- which was probably only a couple minutes- I realized that this was wrong. He's my best friend. Not my boyfriend. He's like a brother to me. He's been through everything with me, and im not ready to throw that all away because of a kiss. Those feelings that i had previously were probably just temptations. Theres no way i could really think of him like that. I just got caught up in the moment.

I put my hands on Theo's chest and pushed him away from me. At first when he looked at me as i pulled away, he seemed dazed. Then he came back to Earth and realized what we just did. "Addi, I-" "No. Im sorry, that was my fault. I shouldnt have kissed you in the first place.." I said, hugging my chest and looking down at the ground. He looked hurt and was slouched, but soon regained his previous stature. "I think you should go home, Theo. I'll be okay here alone for another couple days..." I said, shuffling on my feet. "Addison..." Theo said stepping forward. "No, Theo, I really think you should go. Like... now." I said, sounding harsher than i intended. "Okay. I'm going to go get my stuff, then ill leave." Theo said, not looking at me and going into the house. "Okay..." I mumbled, too quiet for him to hear. 

Theo went to my room and packed up all his things from this past week. I walked him back to the front door, and leaned against the door frame. "I'm sorry, again." Theo said as he walked through the door, and slung his backpack over his shoulder. "Theo, its not your fault. Really. I just... I have to get some things figured out." I said. And it was true. I did need to get some things figured out. I needed to understand my emotions, and my feelings for Theo. "But I can help-" Theo started. "Alone, Theo. I need to be alone right now." I replied, as if i was finishing the last part of my previous sentence. "Alright, fine. Bye." Theo said as he walked away to his car. I closed the door and locked it, sighing. 

I went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. The left over pizza from last night was there. I took a slice of the Hawaiian and went to my room. I turned on the light then sat on my bed and ate my pizza silently. I thought about the day, and i thought about Theo. What was i going to do? He is my best friend and i just kissed him. I kissed him. I leaned forward. And this was all my fault. I should've just turned away when i had the chance. But what didnt stop me was something far greater than the little voice in the back of my head telling me i should. 

I finished my pizza and went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I turned on the faucet and put my hands under the running water. I washed my face in hopes of helping me clear my head but it didnt work. I looked at my reflection and noticed what i was wearing. I still had Theo's sweatshirt on and I completely forgot to give it back to him before he left. I took it off and held it in my hand while i walked back to my room. I threw the sweatshirt onto my bed and went to my closet. I replaced the clothes I  was just wearing and threw on an over sized t-shirt, and sweats. I went to my bag that i left on the floor after i got home, and pulled out my phone. I clicked the on button and saw I had 3 new text messages from Theo. I didnt bother to look at them, so i placed my phone on the table near my bed and crawled into the warm blankets soon after.

I picked up Theo's sweatshirt that was next to me and sighed. I thought about the kiss that we shared around an hour ago. My lips tingled, and my stomach felt odd. I buried my face in the sweatshirt and thought about what i was going to do. I heard something vibrate next to me and saw Theo's smiling face on the screen of my phone. Dont answer it dont answer it dont answer it. I thought to myself. I tried resisiting the urge to pick up my phone but i couldnt stop myself. I clicked the answer button on the screen underneath Theo's chin.

"Hey," Crap. "Hi," Theo said, a sound of relief came through the phone. "What's up?" I said trying to sound casual, but probably sounding like i was being choked. "Did you read my texts?" Theo asked. "No... Not yet." I answered, slumping against the bed frame. "Oh." That's all he said. "Yeah." Is what i replied. "So..." Theo said through the phone. "Theo I um- I really have to-" "Are you mad at me? I really need to know." He asked, sounding weary. "What? Oh, my god, no. No why would you think that?" I asked, startled by his question. "Its just, I dont know... You kind of kicked me out of your house, and..." "No Theo, im not mad. Like I said, I'm just trying to... figure things out." I said, trying to piece my words together. "Can you figure things out faster? Haha, im just kidding." He said. But i knew he wasn't kidding. "Okay... Um, by the way, I have your sweatshirt. Do you want it back?" I asked, although i didnt want to give it back. "Nah, just keep it. You look cute in it," He said. By the tone of his voice, I could tell he was smiling to himself. "Okay, cool," I said, a bit too happy. "But, thanks. For the sweatshirt." I said fumbling with my words. "Mhmm." He said humming into the phone. "Well, I should go. Glad we figured things out." He said. We did? "Yeah. Yeah okay. Goodnight." I said. "Night," Theo said. As i was about to hang up the phone, Theo said, "Oh! And Addi?" "Yeah?" I asked, curiously. "I love you." He said, like he always does. But this time, to me, it means something different. I dont know what it is, but the way he said it sounded off. "Love you too.." I mumbled. "Bye." I quickly said, then hung up right away. I let out a heavy breath i didnt know i was holding, and threw my phone to the edge of my bed, near my foot.  

After another hour of watching Once Upon a Time on my TV, I fell asleep. 

There he was. The man that I could've sworn i knew. The man that has haunted my dreams these past couple of weeks. The man I feared every night. The reason why I was always so scared to fall asleep. But this time, he wasnt alone. We were in a dark alley, and he had a boy with him. The boy had dark brown hair, light brown almost hazel eyes, and the most perfect features I have ever seen. Then it hit me. This boy, this perfect not so perfect teenage boy standing beyond me, was Theo. As i looked over his body,I saw cuts and bruises everywhere. The man that haunted my dreams had Theo in his grasp, holding him by the back of his neck, and Theo winced. I stepped closer to them and took in everything that was in front of me. You could see the sweat glisten off Theo's shirtless body, and his closed eyes, in too much pain to open them. "Theo!" I called, but he didnt look up. The man had a smirk on his crooked face, and pushed Theo to his knees. Theo collapsed forward, and I felt a thud beneath me as his limp body hit the Earth. I tried running forwad to him, but I was frozen in place. "Hey!" I yelled. "Why cant I move?" I asked. The man just let out a low chuckle, and pulled something out of his coat pocket. I didnt even notice what the man was wearing, all I payed attention to was Theo. He unrolled whatever he took out his pocket, and before i could react, he struck Theo in the back with it. Theo made a noise, showing his pain, and the man struck again. A whip. "Stop it! Stop! Please!" I said, struggling to move. I soon started sobbing as I saw blood trickling down Theo's already beaten and bruised body. Theo was too weak to do anything, so he just sat there, on the ground curled up and shaking in pain. "Get up!" The mans voice boomed to Theo. "No! Please! Leave him alone!" I yelled, now sobbing, and still unable to move. Theo got up and the man dropped the whip. Something between the man and I started to form beneath the ground. It was black and shaped like an L. I soon recognized it to be a gun. The man walked away from Theo and picked the gun up. He walked back to Theo and pointed the gun at his head. "NO!" I screamed. I put all the energy in my body into this one last thrust in hopes of being able to save my best friend. I ran towards Theo and the man and threw my body against Theo to protect him just as the man pulled the trigger. 

"THEO!" I screamed, as I woke up shaking and sweating. I was panting and looking around for him. I then remembered that i made him leave the night before, and suddenly broke into a sob. I hugged my pillow and tried to comfort myself the way Theo would if he was here. "It's okay... It was only just a dream... I am okay.." I said through pants and sobs. It didnt help much so I decided to do the only thing I knew would comfort me. Hearing Theo's voice. 

I picked up my phone and dialed Theo's number. The line rang a couple times before he finally answered. "H-hello?" I heard, Theo's voice tired and cracked. "Theo?" I say through sniffles. "Addison? Addi, what's wrong?" Theo said, like he's been awake for hours. "Its just, I had another nightmare, and it was the worst one of them all.. And you were in it, and... It was just, it was really bad, Theo. I dont know what to do, and I knew that the only way I'd feel better is hearing your voice and-" I rambled on. "I'll be right over. Give me 5 minutes." Theo said, like it totally wasnt 3:47 AM. "Theo, you really don't have-" "Just hang in there, okay? I'm on my way." Theo said, and I heard shuffling around him. "Okay. Thank you." I said, a wave of relief washing over me. He was coming. "You're welcome, Addi." He said, then hung up. 

In precisely 5 minutes, Theo showed up at my door, leaning against the door frame waiting for me. He was still wearing his baggy sweats, a black t-shirt, and his hair was a mess, sticking out in all the wrong directions. I smiled when i saw him, and he had this crooked smile on as well. I stood on my tippy toes and wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his neck. He wrapped his strong arms around my waist, and with one hand, rubbed my back in a way that only Theo could comfort me. "Thank you for being here for me, again." I mumbled into his neck. "Addison, I'll always be there for you." He said, hugging me tighter. We stayed there for a while, in each others arms, in between my doorway.