Worthless Beauty L.S *Under Massive Editing*

S I X

So before you read I just want to say that I rewrote mostly everything, so read the other chapters before you read this one. 5/28/14

¢нαρтєя ѕιχ

-Harry-

I walked the halls with a smile on my face. Everybody was looking at me strangely but i didnt give them any detail as to what had just happened. Then I frowned. They wouldnt care anyways.

"Was that a smile I saw?" I put a hand on my chest and clutched my shirt. He scated the shit out of me.

"No." I lied.

"Oh." Was his response. "I have something for you." He took off his backpack and dug through it. He took out a white notebook and handed it to me. "Promise you wont open it till after school?" He said pleadingly.

"Okay." I said nonchalently. He gave the smallest of smiles and gave me a hug.

"How you been Harry? I heard you have a new therapist." He whispered in my ear then pulled away.

"I do."

"Have you talked to him?" He paused. "Like you talk to me." I nodded. "Good. Ill catch you later." He gave me another hug and I raised an eyebrow . Why is he being so touchy today?

"Thanks for the notebook." He nodded and headed off to class. Even though I was anxious to open it I had promised not to. And just like that I headed off to class.

The rest of the day went by in a blur and I didnt see Liam at all after our little encounter in the morning and it made me worried.

I walked to Louis flat since I knew Louis was probably at work. I wouldnt want to bother him.

But as I entered the flat there he was on the couch asleep. I smiled softly and walked over to him. I layed on him and he immedietaly put his arms around me. I knew he knew this was wrong but I wanted it.

And quite frankly I hope he wanted it just as bad as I did. I closed my eyes and let his soft breathing lull me to sleep.

~*~

It was evening and Louis was making a salad and that was okay to eat because a salad only had one hundred and thirty calories plus five for every vegetable you put on it, besides I think louis would force me to eat it. "So Zayns coming over." He smiled and I frowned. louis liked Zayn not me, besides who would like someone with so many problems.

"Great." I said trying not to sound so sarcastic, but I frowned and that gave me away.

"Whats wrong?" I shook my head. "Are you gonna invite your friend?" I smiled and outstretched my arm for his phone. He handed it to me and I dialed quickly, knowing the number by memory.

After the third ring I was sent to voicemail. I looked at the phone and raised an eyebrow, liam never let a phone go to voicemail. So i called again. This time someone picked up, "Hello?" They sniffled.

"Mrs. Payne?"

"Harry?" She sobbed and thats when I knew something was wrong.

There was a knock on the door and Louis answered - it was Zayn. I took my phone call to Louis' room. "mrs payne wheres liam?" And she gave another sob so I decided to ask what was wrong. "why are you crying?" And at that moment I realized the events of today and I ran to my back which was in the lounge - phone in hand listening to Mrs.Payne sob loudly into it.

"is everything alright Harry." Louis asked me but I didn't answer just dug through my backpack when i couldnt find the note book i dumped out all its contents and there it was. It was starring at me. I didnt want to see what was in it anymore. I grabbed it with shaky hands.

"Doll?" Louis said walking over to me.

"hes dead." The person on the other line finally said and i dropped the phone, i didnt care if it was louis' and i didnt care if it had broken.

"Babe." Louis said worriedly, if it were another time of the day my stomach would have done flips but the sweet name made me cry. My knees went weak and i was about to drop, only louis grabbed a hold of me and sat me down on the couch. He grabbed his phone and i snatched it from his hands to put it against my ear. "How?" I said my voice cracking.

"I-I came home and called his name. When there was no answer i got worried and went to his room when i.." she paused and let out another sob.

My mind was going through all the ways some one could kill themselves and the one i didnt think about was the one she had answered with, " he was hanging from the ceiling fan." Youd think he would of touched the ground but that wasnt the case. Liams house had high ceilings, how he got up there was beyond me.

I let out a ugly cry, an image popping into my head - the broken rope on the telly. "Harry honey i have to call you back some other time. I have to answer some questions for the police."

"Okay." And then there was silence on the other line. I slowly handed the phone to louis.

"You okay?" I shook my head and ran to his room, when i was in i let myself drop onto the ground crying, screaming, and rocking back and forth. I was to sad to notice someone had pulled me into an embrace but i managed to whisper, "i want to die"

"Whats wrong love." Louis whispered running his fingers through my hair.

"Hes gone." I said inbetween sobs.

"Whos gone."

"Liam, he - he killed himself."

"I'm so sorry harry." He said sincerely. He stood up and carried me. He walked us to the living room and he sat me down on the couch. My crying had calmed and I felt as if I were dead, but I wasnt I was alive, just dead with emotions. Zayn was starring at us with curious eyes, but he didnt ask questions.

I looked to my side and grabbed the notebook when I opened it there was a disc and a note tapped to the front page. "Can you put it on?" Louis took it from my hands and put into the DVD.

Liam came up immediately, "who's that?" Zayn asked but no one answered him.

"Hey Harry, by the time you watch this ill be dead." He gave a small smile. "It's what I want and I hope you understand that I couldn't anymore, you helped me a lot and you got me through a lot but everything just kept going down." His eyes were getting watery and it was causing my eyes to get watery again. "I'm so sorry harry I really am." I looked at Louis to see he was sitting next to me and starring at me with sad eyes. He put his hand on my thigh and gave it a squeeze.

As I looked back at the screen Liam had his hand over his mouth probably trying not to choke up, so when he moved his hand he said, "I want you to promise you won't do what Im about to do, you deserve to live a happy life and I don't want you to be sad because I'm gone. Ill miss you Haz, a lot. And ill see you someday just please not soon. I love you so much." His tears were streaming down his face now.

"I just.. Can't anymore." He looked down, "I'm so disgusting and so fat and I just hate myself so much. I was waiting for my birthday but I just couldn't wait that long. I'm sorry, you ment alot to me, I'm sorry but I've made up my mind. I'm sorry." He looked up as he cried.

"I love you so much." He blew a kiss. "Good bye Harry." And the camera was turned off but a song started to play.

"She sets up high surrounded by the sun one million branches and she loves everyone, mom and dad did you search for me I've been up here so long I'm going crazy." And I zoned out till it came to the bridge of the song.

"If I were you if put that away, see you're just waisted and thinkin bout the past again darling you'll be okay, and she said if you were me you'd do the same yeah-he cause I can't take anymore ill draw the shades and close the door I'm not alright and I would rather."

That's when I lost it and for a second I isn't care if Zayn was there I latched myself to Louis and kissed him, I was desperate for any type of affection. He tried to push me away but I locked my fingers behind his neck and held on tighter. My eyes were shut so tight they were beginning to hurt. "Please don't leave me." I pleaded against his lips, my mind set on him creating the same act as Liam even though Louis wasn't sad. I pulled away and burried my face in the crook of his neck.

"Please." I cried.

And he replied with, "Never."