Our Numbered Days ∥ fillie

cherish the little things.

chapter ten.

"hi, this is─

"is this a better time to call?"

"good boy. and yes, now that i've had my morning cup of joe, i feel much better."

"i can't believe it.. sirius actually died."

"oh you're on that part now? yeah it was tough for me too. i actually cried when i read it. it's like the only happiness harry has ever had in his life and then poof, it's all gone."

"kind of like an allegory for life's lemons. i can actually count this as number three-hundred and twenty-seven reasons as to why i shouldn't stay alive anymore."

"finnie, you know the rules already. no mentions of committing suicide."

"i know you've said that already but.. that is the reason why i called here in the first place, remember?"

"yes, and my solution is to distract you. you don't think you're the only person struggling with suicide, do you?"

"well, no but─

"exactly. people find ways to distract themselves from those dark thoughts. they find hobbies, passions, romances.. anything to distract them from allowing that bleak black hole to consume them. we're all bound to die someday, it's inevitable. point is, don't die by choice. you only die when it's your time to go. there may not be a point to life, but we can make our own reasons for existing."

"and your reasons are pizza, harry potter, makeup, music, and knee-high socks, right?"

"and old people. god i love it when their hands shake when they go to pour their juice or coffee, i find it absolutely adorable!"

"that's not adorable."

"why not?"

"well i mean, what if they have like, a very serious condition?"

"or they could just be so fragile and weak that they are unable to do all the things us younger people are able to do."

"i don't know what to do with you, mills. but i guess i just wanna thank you."

"thank me? for what?"

"just for listening to me. and you might not even know this but... thanks for saving me as well."

─
it's like 25 degrees outside and i'm freezing. it never gets this cold in texas wtf?! this calls for loads of blankets and popcorn, matched with a little netflix.