mistakes like this ; fillie

19. naive

millie
-

i sat alone in the waiting room, my legs crossed on the chair with my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. i have no idea how long i've been here, but when i look at the clock on the wall it read 3:50am. that meant it had been at least 6 hours since we left the party, probably around 5 hours since we got to the hospital. i was tired, i could tell by how heavy my body felt, but i couldn't sleep. i was too scared, and i was worried if i slept i'd miss any news. so all i could do was sit alone with my thoughts. around 4, jaeden and sadie came rushing in the doors. i didn't look up, my body felt too weak, but i could hear sadie's frantic voice asking the nurse about finn, and i could see the nurse in my peripheral vision pointing towards where i sat. they ran over, sadie throwing herself into the seat next to me and jaeden crouched down in front of my seat, trying to catch my stare that i had on the tile floor of the hospital.

"i'm sorry i didn't answer sooner, i turned my phone off before the party and things got crazy and i just didn't think anything would happen, i'm so sorry" sadie rambled, wrapping her arms around my neck and hugging me from the side. i didn't speak. i didn't move. i didn't think i could. i remember how strained my voice was when i called 911, and the pain in my throat from screaming was dull, but it was there.

"millie, can you tell us what happened?" jaeden asked softly. i felt his hand rest on my leg, but i still didn't move. i parted my lips to speak and i felt them pull apart, the skin being almost stuck together after keeping them so tightly pressed together for so long.

"she shot him" i croaked out. my voice was deep, sounding like i had almost lost it completely.

"who? who shot him?" i could see him give a confused look to sadie and i almost felt her shrug beside me. that's when i finally looked up, meeting his eyes as he searched mine for an answer.

"iris" my words were quiet but they were clear, and i could hear jaeden's breath catch in his throat as he pulled his head back and furrowed his eyebrows.

"iris? iris apatow? she couldn't have done that, millie, she wouldn't do that"

"yeah? well she did. she broke into my house, and she tried to shoot me but finn pushed me aside and she shot him instead and now he's been in surgery for god knows how many hours and i'm scared, jaeden i'm so scared" i ranted until i broke, and again, i started crying. i didn't think i'd be able to anymore i thought i cried all the tears i had, but clearly i was wrong as i dropped my head into my hands again and sobbed. i felt sadie rubbing my back and jaeden was rubbing my leg and they were both whispering to try and calm me down but nothing seemed to work.

"millie why don't you go home and get some rest. jaeden and i can stay here and we'll call you if there's any news-"

"the fuck? no! i'm not leaving, sadie, i'm not leaving without finn!" i raised my voice but due to the crack in my throat and the strain in my voice it wasn't actually that loud.

"millie you've been here for hours, you need to sleep"

"i cant! not until i know he's okay-"

"wolfhard?" i was cut off by the voice of a doctor who walked into the room and i shot out of my seat faster than i could blink, almost tripping over jaeden.

"yes? what's happening? is he okay?" i asked frantically. he gave us all a weird look.

"are you his ... siblings?" he questioned.

"sure, just, is he gonna be okay?" his face turned soft and he lowered the clipboard in his hands to fall at his side.

"i'm so sorry" when the words slipped out of his mouth, everything stopped. all sounds around me were drowned out, it sounded as if i was underwater and everything was suddenly quieter and harder to understand. i felt dizzy.