Until Now

Chapter 10: How far I'll go

What is stronger,

Than the human heart,

Which shatters over and over,

And still lives.

Rupi Kaur

Unknown POV:

I am sitting here in mom's room. Her sleeping robe is still on the chair beside mirror. Grandma told me that mom left me, just like dad did. How is it even possible? I just saw her yesterday from the window of her hospital's room. She looked okay to me. Although she didn't talk to me.

I don't know what to do. I came home thinking that mom will be in the kitchen waiting for me because doctor said that she'll come home today. I made my shoes dirty so she could scold me. But I didn't hear her voice, even when I rubbed my shoes on the carpet.

Madilyn told me that tomorrow is her funeral. I don't know what I am supposed to do on a funeral. Maybe I'll just pray and sit. I want to cry but I want to be like dad, brave and strong. So, I am not going to cry.

Peter came home with me today and his mother is here. I don't like him anymore. His sister, Marry, learned to say "dad". Only if I had a little sister too.

Madilyn said that my cousins are coming from Pakistan. I have never met them before. I hope they are good.

Grandma: Ahmar, Ahmar come here.

Ahmar: (runs) yes grandma.

Grandma: Meet your mamu Qadir and mami Haseena.

Ahmar: Assalamualaikum!

Qadir: Masha Allah! How are you? You look just like your father.

Ahmar: I am good.

Haseena: (kisses his forehead) will you like to meet your cousins?

Ahmar: Yes.

Grandma: This is Rameez. He is in 4 class and this is Safiya.

Qadir: Kids! Go and see the whole house.

I took Rameez and Safiya with me. Rameez is taller than me. Safiya keeps on asking me questions. "How to spell cat? How can I live in this room alone?"

She is so cute. Rameez told me that she is only 4 years old, a year younger to me. She is a very curious little girl. I told Rameez that he is lucky just like peter, because he has a sister.

But he laughed and said, "She is not a sister, she is a witch. She copies me in everything. She even has a uniform for school. She doesn't even go to school. She writes on my notebooks too. She is so annoying."

"Rameez, if you don't want a sister, can I have your sister?" I asked him and he happily agreed. Later, Safiya became our teacher and I, Peter and Rameez were her students. She scolded peter's sister, Marry, because she was busy with her toys and wasn't paying attention to class.

Marry started crying and Madilyn carried her to her mother. Now I can see what Rameez meant. She is bossy but cute. I still want to make her sister.

Rameez told me that in Pakistan, they speak Urdu and Pashtu. I know Urdu and I can speak it too but I don't know Pashtu.

Rameez said that he will teach me how to speak Pashtu. He has his separate room too; my room was attached to mom's room. Safiya doesn't have her room yet.