Secrets Cause Silence ✓ [Secrets Book 2]

[Final Chapter]

   'Cause you always learn to hold the things you want to say
                     You're always gonna be afraid


            There's only hate
              There's only tears
                  There's only pain
               There is no love here
             Oh, so what will you do?
               There's only lies
                There's only fears
                     There's only pain
                   There is no love here
   
      Broken down like a mirror smashed to pieces
      You learned the hard way to shut your mouth and smile
    If these walls could talk they would have so much to say
            'Cause every time you fight
                       the scars are gonna heal
                  but they're never gonna go away

                      No Love: Simple Plan

Chapter Twelve

After that day I didn't speak again. I had said all I could say and now I just couldn't. I was pissed off but I was more afraid. I was too scared to speak against him or my parents again after that. He stabbed me in the stomach and I was close to bleeding to death. If that stranger didn't come along I would have.

My parents wouldn't let me move back in with them and so I was stuck to suffer living with Than.

At first he got a kick out of my silence but then he got angry. He would push me on the ground and kick me in the ribs trying to get me to talk. He would torture me for hours with the knife and he would have his way with me all he wanted as punishment for not talking to him.

The way he saw it though, if I didn't say no then it wasn't rape. I could shake my head and push him away all I wanted but since I didn't say it he said I was consenting. Apparently all the other times I said no and begged for him not too didn't count for that.

I was dead inside now, my fight and life seeped away in the blood that night he stabbed me. sure the blood was put back by donated blood and eventually everything was okay in that department but I was now living on borrowed blood, borrowed life and borrowed time. I knew I wouldn't survive to get married or go to college at this point and I didn't care.

I learned to take it when he brought his friends over, I laid there. I didn't fight I didn't struggle, I just laid there and let them do it. I didn't struggle away from the knife I just let him cut me. I didn't try to run away when he beat me, I just let him do it and get it all over with.

But in a way it made him angrier, without me fighting back it was like taking all the fun out of what he did to me and so he would give it worse. It was a daily occurrence for me to pass out from the beatings and wake up hours later for him to do it again.

I didn't go out or to social events so he bruised any part of my body he wanted. My parents said I was skittish around people now and was still recovering from what happened to me.

Random robbery my ass.

But I didn't fight it because I was weak. I tried running once and he found me easily, that night he reopened my stitches and made me stich myself back up.

I sat there once again wondering how I let it get to here. It was one time he hit me and then two. He told me he loved me and it didn't seem like a big deal. I never in my wildest and most twisted nightmares could have thought things would end up like this.

As the months went by and the beatings got worse my parents moved me back into their house because Than couldn't control himself anymore. I was black, blue and scabbed.

They didn't bring me home to take care of me, they brought me home so I could heal up. I would made some appearances before 'disappearing' because it was too much and then they would send me back to Than. That and no one else wanted to deal with the nightmares that had me waking up screaming at night.

It made my parents furious and I had to suffer beatings from my father but at least those I could easily handle, they were nothing to me anymore.

I used to think how bad it hurt and how sore I would be after but I couldn't even feel it because I was used to so much more pain from Than.

I sat in my room at night contemplating suicide, forever haunted by my experiences but in the end, no matter how much I wanted to go through with it, that was just a sin I couldn't do. I believed there was a god out there and that no matter what life was precious.

Any hope of getting out was long gone by now but there was something holding me here, something that always talked me out of it.

It was nearing summer and I just woke up having my millionth nightmare when my parents came in and told me they were getting rid of me for the summer. I've always wanted to leave but now I suddenly wanted to stay.

What if she was worse than my father?

At least here i knew what to expect from them, over there it was new people and the unknown but never the less I packed my bags to get ready for what I didn't know at the time would be the best thing that ever happened to me.  

And the book comes back to the beginning of SIS.
it was nice and short and now you understand.
NOW! it's time for Addie, Liam, and a trial. Who's excited!?!?!

I know i am!:)