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« Dear Diary »

Third person

Something atrocious has happened to poor Joshua Bradley, the boys don't know what to do. They've expressed themselves and feelings in their diaries and to each other. Grab your tissues...

Dear Diary,

Well it's been days since we visited Josh, I've been scared to. We had a phone call the other day and Josh isn't in a good state. After the accident they thought his legs were healing well, they ran tests and everything seemed fine. One night Josh was sleeping and his heart rate increased, the doctors went in to go and check on him. His heart stopped beating and he had to be resuscitated, he lived. He's currently in a coma and had internal bleeding in his spleen. I haven't had much sleep at all, I've just cried every night into Josh' pillows and duvet. I've locked myself in his room and nobody is allowed in. It was so sudden and scary, I knew I should've visited him!

What if he doesn't wake up? I won't have someone to talk to like I do with Josh. Who's going to hold me when I feel my lowest? Who's going to stop me from smoking, drinking, cutting and doing drugs? I miss him to the point where if he doesn't awake, I'm going to see him in heaven that exact day.

Please awake, baby.

~ Simon.

-

Dear Diary,

After what happened to Josh we all decided that we would need someone to speak to. It's normally Josh, Tobi or me. But Josh isn't here...

I've been kept awake every night by Simons cry's and screams, me and Jide and Tobi sit outside Joshs door and listen to what Simon says... he really loves him, I feel so heart broken.

I've really started to miss Josh, I cry into Tobis arms most nights. He said 'I don't cry because I'm trying to stay strong for you' but I don't care if he cries because he shouldn't bottle up his emotions. I walked in my bedroom the other days and he was crying whilst holding a pillow, I felt so sorry for him...

Come home, Josh. Awake.

~ Vik.

-

Dear Diary,

I'm not normally one to go and say shit like this, or do shit like this, I'm strong. I just can't believe what I heard. The doctors said there a less and less chance you'll awake every day. It's been 5 days, Josh. What're you doing?

Me and Tobi went into go and check on Simon the other day, he was about to overdose. He has a tub of ecstasy and Paracetamol. He would've died almost instantly...

He's been locked in your room and his room. Hes started smoking, smoking weed, drinking and self harming Josh. He won't let us in, physically and mentally.

Please come home Josh.

- Jide.

-

Dear Diary,

I don't know what to say. My best friend since year 7. I can't let you go this easily, Josh. EthN almost died from overdosing, So did Simon, Vik cries into my arms every-night, Harry doesn't talk to us and Jide can't stop breaking down at random moments!

I can't write anymore or I'm gonna break down in tears, Vik will be home soon. Remember me if you don't make it, Okay?

- Tobi...

-

Dear Diary,

I'm so sorry for what I did! I guess you know that now. I'm useless, worthless and stupid. If you heard me say these things about myself you'd have ago at me. This is what we all love about you, Josh. You're the Dad of the group and we love you for it. You're the one who makes sure we all have everything done, or in order. You're the leader of this group. You keep us organised and on time, what're we gonna do.

We love you Josh.

- Harry.

-

Dear Diary,

Joshua Bradley wake the hell up! You don't know how much we're missing you. It's unreal, we love you though... Y'Know? I can't believe this is happening.

I don't know what to say or how to react. I'm lonely, Tobi isn't here. I almost died the other day but Tobi came home for clothes and saw me. I can't live with you, you always talk to me when I'm alone.

Depression is getting to me Josh, you'd always block my voices. You were the one I was closest to. I love you man, we all do.

Stop my pain, Josh.

- Ethan.

—————

Wow... this made me cry for many reasons. I'm the one writing it!

Don't do drugs at all, I lost a very close to friend to this and nobody could save her. She was 16.

I don't wanna keep this depressing talk up so I think I should lift the mood!

I'm writing a Vobi book soon... here's a sneak peak! 😉

~ Sapphie 🦋