Back In Time

Chapter 14: In Which I Ponder Right and Wrong

Not surprisingly, both Eric and Godric knew what a cluviel dor was. What none of us could seem to figure out was how or why my simpleton brother had done this. I knew it had to be him, though. I just had a feeling. The cluviel dor was the only idea I'd had in the last two nights that made any sense whatsoever and he's the only person that would have been in my house. Hell, I hadn't even been in that house in a long while. I'd been living with Eric for a couple of months, basically just dropping in every now and again to make sure everything was ok. I was always worried a pipe would bust or a family of rodents would move in, so it sounded like a good idea to have Jason keep an eye on things when we were leaving for England.

I just could not think of what he could possibly have done to activate the magic and how I had ended up here. I would bet my life that he had no idea what the cluviel dor was so I know that whatever he said or did to get it to work was completely unintentional. Be that as it may, I was still here and wanted answers. I was racking my brain trying to think of one but I was getting nowhere fast. Godric had left to take Anna back to her home and I'd been so preoccupied that I'd forgotten to learn how to curtsey from her. Or bow, what the hell ever it was called. I was getting really agitated over this but I couldn't help it. The whole 'baby vamp losing her shit' thing was coming in to play a little.

I was sitting in one of the chairs in the front room with Eric in the other, though I wasn't even paying attention to him. I was staring a hole through the tabletop as my mind tried to work out an acceptable answer. I could feel my irritation building and considering the fact that we'd just bonded, Eric could too. I hadn't realized my fingers were tapping the tabletop until his hand closed over mine, flattening it against the wood. I looked up at him sharply, instantly perturbed. My annoyance faded a notch or two at the look of compassion on his face.

"Show me something?" he asked hopefully. I narrowed my eyes at him, torn between making a smart remark and complying. I usually wasn't quite this hot tempered but when I felt a strong, sudden emotion like this, I had to focus to reign it in. I flexed my jaw for a second while I got my thoughts in order and then I blew out a deep breath.

"Like what?" I asked, my voice neutral.

"Show me my other child. My Pam? I want to see more of her, please." I had to smile at his request. It wasn't hard to bring up memories of Pam and since she was always Pam, I was easily able to give him a definite idea of her character pretty quickly. I showed him the many times she'd tried hitting on me, though I had to explain a couple of the lines she'd used as he didn't understand the wording. I remembered plenty of her sarcastic comebacks, some of her more stoic moments, and the couple of times I'd seen her fight. Eric was like a new father.

"She is fierce," he said, voice brimming with pride. I'd just shown him the glimpses I'd caught of her during the whole 'war of the witches' debacle.

"That she is," I agreed wholeheartedly. He smiled at me, that rare smile that lit up his whole face and I reached my hand out without thinking. I paused just before I touched his cheek, my hand hanging in the air awkwardly for a second. Just as I prepared to turn it into the lamest yawn ever, he turned his head and kissed my palm. The heat travelled up my arm and down to my belly and then he folded my hand into his own.

"I don't understand what is between us in the future," he said haltingly. "I can't imagine it. I have wanted women, to be sure. Desired them. I've needed them, even. But I have never loved them. But when I see myself through your eyes, I see that I do. I do love you, don't I?" His wondrous blue eyes searched mine, completely guileless and looking for answers. I nodded once in answer. "Can you show me? Can you show me how I love you?"