Alone.

Alone. Chapter 2 - You Make Me So Fucking Sad.

Hey :-)

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Before I got here, I thought for a long time that the way out of the labyrinth was to pretend that it did not exist, to build a small self-sufficient world in the back corner of the endless maze and to pretend that I was not lost, but home. But the trouble is, I don't know were my home is, what it looks like, what it feels like; So it turns out I'm completely lost, lost in my own oblivion world.

I try to open the door to my house but it's locked, my tramp of a sister has the keys. "Fuck." I mumble to myself. I walk over the the side of my house and climb onto the tall rock ledges. I walk across the high ledge, holding balance. Fear is nothing for me now. What is fear? being a coward? If people like me where courageous they would still be alive. Being a coward would be ending everything.

I jump over the tall fence quickly and I make my way inside.

I walk into the lounge room noticing my sister sitting on the couch watching T.V with her usual blank face on.

"Thanks for unlocking the door for me." I sarcastically say.

"Fuck off you smart arse."

"Good one you rebel." I say, knowing my sister never swears in front of my parents.

She doesn't respond and I laugh to myself, I walk up the stairs which felt like forever.

I walk into my room and look at the familiar set out, smelling the familiar scent the One direction perfume I think it's called. I'm not a 'massive' fan of one direction, but I will admit their perfume smells like heaven.

I get changed into my Red Hot Chilli Peppers band t-shirt, black full-length leggings and my black converse. I walk over to my beautiful record player and pull out my phone, I admire my case of the Foo Fighters, as I change the case each week. It's hard to choose my favourite case.

I plug my phone into the record player as I watch it charge. I open up a box and look at hundreds of records, I finally decide which one and pull it out. I examine the front which seems like the thousandth time. I put the disc onto the record player and put the tone arm on the very edge of the record player, I press play and listen to the beautiful Dark Side Of The Moon by Pink Floyd.

The lunatic is on the grass.

The lunatic is on the grass.

Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs.

Got to keep the loonies on the path.

The lunatic is in the hall.

The lunatics are in my hall.

The paper holds their folded faces to the floor

And every day the paper boy brings more.

And if the dam breaks open many years too soon

And if there is no room upon the hill

And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too

I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

The lunatic is in my head.

The lunatic is in my head

You raise the blade, you make the change

You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane.

You lock the door

And throw away the key

There's someone in my head but it's not me.

And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear

You shout and no one seems to hear.

And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes

I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

"There's no dark side of the moon really, matter of fact, it's all dark." I speak synchronising with Gerry O'Driscoll.

I listen to the scratching sound of the record player, I look over to the record player and the record has finished. Wow that was fast, I love lying down on my bed and singing with the record. Times go fast with things like that.

I walk over to the box filled with records and choose Kick by INXS. I hit play and jump on my bed. I look around my room examining my beautiful band posters covering every inch of wall. I guess this feels like home, but I still feel lost.

I continue looking at my posters, Nirvana, Pink Floyd, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, INXS, Foo fighters, Green Day, Iron Maiden, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin and small little goofy bands like 5SOS, c'mon they're hot as.

I love this, listening to music, singing along. This is living life, properly. This is my happy place.

I hear my parents arrive home, as I am on my fifth record, Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band by The Beatles. After a few songs I think up to the point where I should actually go down stairs and say hello to them, which feels like that last happened a very long time ago.

As I walk downstairs I hear arguing, again.

"Fuck off you bitch!" I hear someone who sounds like my dad say.

"Me? A Bitch pfft." My so called Mother replies.

"You nag all day, ask me to do everything. I'm not your fucking slave!"

"YOU DO NOTHING FOR ME, NO ONE DOES!" My mother yells back.

I walk into the room and they say nothing.

"What the fuck do you want?" My dad yells at me.

"You're drunk." Is all I simply say.

At that moment I feel a hot stinging pain on my right check, I touch it with my hand and I know straight away there will be bruising. It didn't hurt, right now I'm numb. Pure numbness all around my body, I don't cry, I just laugh looking at him, then towards my mother.

"So you're just going to fucking stand there! Do nothing? I just got hit! And you just stand there, no mother would do that!" I yell.

"I hate this! All of this!" I say and walk off.

So fucking dramatical, my whole family, causing so many problems.

I need to get out of here. Go to a park and just cry it out. Let every pain out of me.

I walk down stairs and see my parents still talking. As I walk down the hallway I get interrupted.

"And where do you think you're going?" I hear my mother say.

I frown at her and look over to my father standing next to her like nothing happened.

"I've been sad in this house for my entire life. You and Dad make me so fucking sad."

And since I said that I have already left my parents inside that god fucking hell of a house, and head down the street. Not caring what's next.

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Be patient, he is coming soon x.