Alone.

Alone. Chapter 3 - A New Beginning.

Song for this chapter is:

Refuge by Matt Corby

*****

Where's my chance to be happy? I imagine me hitting the steering wheel weakly, the car honking as I cried; I lean my head back, looking up, " I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate this, I hate this, I hate it I hate it I hate it, just let me fucking die."

*****

I walk down my empty street, looking at everything I haven't noticed before. The beautiful lights shining everywhere.

I've always liked night time, especially in winter. I look at the cold clouds of my breath escaping from my lips. I'm glad I left that house, otherwise I would be stuck in there forever. I still couldn't believe they let me out, I usually escape out. But sadly I choose to return.

As soon as I go back to that house, I'm going to get my stuff and get the fuck away from that hell hole. That 'perfect' house, all nice and 'perfect' on the outside but full of gloom and nightmares on the in.

I stand in front of a tree and admire the beautiful fairy lights, I know where exactly I should go to, The park. The park is where I think, where I get away from all of the bullshit and rest in the quietness.

I turn right, into the alley way which leads to a shortcut to the park. I only go the park in the night time because it doesn't have screaming children and that its true beauty is awake in the night.

I pull out my phone and headphones, I put on a song called Refuge by Matt Corby. I remember my first time listening to this song. My headphones where on full blast and I laid down on the bed. I covered my face with my hands and just admired the true beauty of the song.

Fear lives, in these bones

I am helpless on, I'm so helpless on

my own

We started giving in, our walls our wearing thin

Our light is growing dim, we are

So far from where we want to be

There's nothing for me here

So grab your coat, let's leave this place my dear

The colours of my soul are seeking refuge

In somebody elses arms

Now I must try, to win them back somehow

I've fallen hard and fallen short

But love is not a winners game at all

Now I must try to forget about it now

Fear lives, in these bones

I am, helpless on

I'm so helpless on my own

And will time get the better of me,

we'll have to wait and see,

for now I'll keep floating down this dark abyss, of lonliness

But before I leave, just one last kiss now

The colours of my soul are seeking refuge

In somebody elses arms,

Now i must try to win them back somehow

I've fallen hard, and fallen short

but love is not a winners game at all