Creating a Dream

Poison Ivy

It's Saturday and Adam asks me to come over so he can try his new songs. He introduced me to his mom then we go into his room.

"There's no way my parents would allow you into my room but guys always get to have the freedom to do what they want while girls have to be sheltered." He grabs his acoustic guitar and sits on his bed.

"I wouldn't trust my daughter to be alone with someone like me either. I'm not a virgin but you probably already know that." I nodded not able to speak from his admission. His ex-girlfriend liked to tell everyone about their relationship.

"You're special to me Kalie. What I feel for you I've never felt before. You're the first girl I've ever brought to my house. Into my room and the only girl I'm about to sing to." I stared at him in disbelief. How could he say something so caring and thoughtful while he's tuning his guitar? He makes it seem like what he said wasn't a big deal.

I sit on the bed facing Adam as his goes through all his cords making sure it's the right pitch. His room is like any guys room with band posters, hockey trophies, and sport equipment. It was clean and neat. I wonder if he kept it that way or if his mom cleans his room. Adam pulls me out of my thoughts as he starts playing music on his guitar. He sounds great. He finally looks up at me nervously. I realized ever since he invited me over he hasn't made eye contact until now.

"I'm going to play some of my songs for you. Let me know what you think." My heart starts to beat rapidly in anticipation. What girl can say that their boyfriend sang to them? I smiled happily knowing I probably looked like a grinning fool so I tried my best to calm myself.

"I'm ready when you're ready." I said to Adam in a surprisingly calm voice. He starts playing perfectly on his guitar. His voice took my breath away.

I, I scream your name

And I, I hear no answer

In these times of darkness

I'm crazy sober

Well I want this bad

When I'm through and through the pain

And I got this feelin'

I'll never see you again

Now someone please help me

Help me, be me

But I live for you

And I, I need you here with me

But don't leave me here

Take a look I'll be your man

I look around, all around

And it's you that's in my hand

Trust me

Trust me

Trust me

Trust me

Trust me, yeah

He glances at me. Maybe to see my reaction. I just smile and listen intently.

Well I, I feel like cryin' and dyin'

And it's no wonder

I gotta hold my friends I'm feelin'

Like I'm going under

Don't leave me here

Take a look, I'll be your man

I look around, all around

And it's you that's in my hand

Trust me, yeah

Trust me, yeah

Trust me, yeah

Trust me

Trust me

Trust me, yeah

He glances at me again and I wonder if he's trying to tell me something through his lyrics.

I'll take you to a place I've seen

You'll never come right back to me

I'll take you to a place I've seen

You'll never come right back to me

I'll take you to a place I've seen

You'll never come right back to me

I'll take you to a place I've seen

You'll never come right back to me

He finishes the song and lays the guitar next to him on the bed.

"It's beautiful Adam but your voice makes any song beautiful." I said in awe of him. He seems grim. Is something wrong? He hasn't been himself. He opens his hand, palm up, waiting for me to place my hand in his. I do, watching him, wondering what this is all about.

"Kalie, I know we just starting dating but I don't want anything from my past or anything I do to fuck it up. I'm not a saint and I have an attitude problem. I drink and I might say mean things but please put up with me. Please don't give up on me. I need you to promise me you'll never leave me. That'll you'll try to make us work." His blue eyes stared into mine pleading with me. Fear washed over me as I tried to understand where all this was coming from.

"Is something wrong? You should know that I will. Why do you think I will leave you?" I ask wanting him to feel reassured. He nervously taps his fingers against my hand and takes a deep breath and releases it.

"You mean a lot to me and I'm scared I'm going to fuck it up. I'm poison ivy Kalie. Whatever I touch I fuck up." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He couldn't possibly believe it.

"Adam I'm here. Nothing is going to change that." I reach over to hug him.

"You mean everything to me too." I give him a caressing kiss to show him what he makes me feel.

"Sing more of your songs. I want to know what else is going through your head. It seems music is the way you express yourself." He smiles shyly as he grabs his guitar and sings another song.