why die? *not updated often updated*

DO YOU NOT RELIES HOW MUCH PAIN YOU WOULD PUD ME THREW

A/N: WARNING: IF YOU DONT LIKE SELF HARM PLZ DONT READ THE 1ST CHAPTER THANK YOU <3

summer pov

i sat in my room looking out the window after my dad had left (which was around 10 minuets ago) i told him to not let anyone in my room. i finally make up my mind and walk to the bathroom picking up my razor and sliding out a blade. i stand to my feet and rase the blade to my shoulder before i hear the bathroom door open “SUMMER NO STOP PLEASE!!!” James screams from across the room crying. the blade passes down my arm blood dribbled onto the floor “I’m not worth it” the few word that have passed my mind for the last 15 years finally slip out. “SUMMER YOU ARE I LOVE YOU DO YOU NOT RELIES HOW MUCH PAIN YOU WOULD PUD ME THREW” James screams i didn’t think of how my family felt but i was alway told they never cared and it is just stuck in my head, trapped forever “i’m sorry James, i had to do it” he ran to me with toilet roll in his hand and wiping up the blood “sum you have me here to talk, you don’t need to do this anymore” i look to the floor “i do, i’m nothing and i don’t have anything” it’s true, well in my mind i feel worthless. “sum look at me” he demands and i look into his red blood shot eyes “your amazing, beautiful and talented your everything. i love you to pieces and so dose mum and dad you are worth something you do have friends who do you think the same as me tris, con and brad?” he sniffled still trying to stop the blood “they don’t actually like me they only stick around because there your friend’s and band mates” i wine walking out the bathroom to see the boys sat on my bed “you think we don’t like you?” tris looked at me with all seriousness i nod looking to the floor “we do, your like my sister sum” tris hugs me “tris don’t hug me” he pulls away immediately worry filling his eyes “why what have i done?” i point to his shirt that now is covered in my blood “because that will happen” i couldn’t look at any of them i feel so disappointed in myself making them go threw this “you did it again?” brad let a tear role down his face “yep she did and she need’s a doctor because it won’t stop” James pulled me out the room and down the stairs the boys following closely behind.

(at the hospital)

james pov

“mcvey” a nurse with a clipboard shouted “thats me” i stood and walked to her “your sister has lost a lot of blood and is very week, i am so sorry to here that she has an infection of the blood and will need treatment right away” my whole world just came tumbling down nothing matters but her my sister. “c-c-could she die?” tears started falling like a waterfall uncontrollably “there is a risk but if we find someone that could donate some blood then she dose have a better chance of living” i fell to the floor why my sister? how could i let her do this? 

“what about us could we help?” brad sniffled from behind us “um we could test all of you for the blood transfusion” she looked at her clip board “but there is a risk that non of you will be her match” i could hardly even listen let alone speak “but we can try” tris demanded more than questioned “can i see her” i wimped as i look up at the nurse “yeah of course but only two at a time she is two week for more than that” she looked at all four of us “brad your coming in” i pulled him with me he was just the closest one to grab and i just want to be in there with her i don’t want her here by herself. we were shown to the room. i reached for the handle and slowly opened it mentally preparing for what i am about to see. 

in the middle of the room on top of the pail bed sheets lay a lifeless and white summer. i rush to her side brad couldn’t even move “sum are you awake?” i brush my hand over her head “jam” she croaked but didn’t open her eyes “are you ok?” i held her hand “James I’m week i don’t think i can live anymore” tears falling onto the bed “don’t say that, when your better your coming to america with me and the boy’s. o and don’t forgery meeting austin mahone” i try and lighten the mood “i’m so stupid i’m not even worth your breath James, i don’t deserve any one of you” a tear falls down her cheek as she slowly open’s her eyes “yes you are i would happily wast all my berth on you because i am not losing you know” i weekly smile “s-s-s-su-u-um-mmer” brad creed out “brad” sum turned her head to him and then silence. “James cam i tell you something?”

brad’s pov

“James can i tell you something?” i breathe out please don’t hate me “yeah of course?” he looked at sum “i love her” his head shot to me his eyes wide “what” he whisper shouted “i’m in love with summer” i cant hide it anymore and i think summer was shocked that i even said it “your what?” he got up rubbing the back of his head “i love her, i mean i love you summer” i was more confident this time and actual look at her and she give me a week smile. “my life right know is so messed up” James let out at the bottom of summers hospital bed “i cant keep this in anymore it’s just eating me away from the inside” he leans on summers bed looking at me and i look back at him. then he turns to sum “what about you do you like him back?” she looked to her hands “yeah i do” omg that felt so good for her to admit. he looks at me “fine, but i swear to god if you even look at her in the wrong way i will personally rip your balls off” he pointed at me and then left. i walked over to summer and sat in the chair beside her “I’m sorry about him he is just really over protective” she smiles at me “no it’s fine i understand” i return the smile “do you really mean it” she fiddles with her fingers “yes i do, i love every part of you from you scars to your eye’s i love them so much and i also love you” it felt so right to be saying this but not the surroundings. i mean the love of my life might just die right in front of me can i really go threw with this?