Snaked🐍

Chapter Seven- Saige

I will never forgive myself for what happened after Carter and I left Mary-Lynn's. I was such a mess and just not in the right state of mind, but I guess that didn't justify my actions... and Carter's for that matter.

He took me back to his place, where Kam was nowhere to be found.
"She's working a late shift today." Carter beamed at me, as if he could read my mind. Oh hell. I had already started taking off my shirt when I knew Kamryn wasn't around. What on earth did I think I was doing? Oh, that's right, I wasn't thinking - as always. Carter lifted me up, effortlessly, as if I weighed the mass of a feather, and I wrapped my legs around him.

I always admired that in a man. A sense of manliness, you get me? Just knowing that they'll be there to protect you and make you feel safe. Carter was my home and an adventure all in one. He gave me a head rush but at the same time, made me feel at peace. At that moment I couldn't help but thinking how Kam must have felt the exact same way about Carter and I was basically stealing her life right from under her nose.

"We can't do this, Carter. No." I said, pushing him aside mid-kiss.
"Oh God, not this again." Carter raised his voice at me and suddenly, I didn't feel very safe anymore. I moved myself onto the couch, a few spaces away from him, sat with my legs up and clutched them together with my arms. I had warped myself into being a little ball because at that time, it was the only way to feel protected. Protected from my emotions, from my wants, the temptations... and protected from Carter. That's the thing, you see, in the end, you're all you've got.

I glanced over at Carter and saw the strangest thing. He himself had warped into a little - quite a big, but little - ball. I relaxed my body and edged a bit closer. Suddenly, a tear rolled down his perfectly shaped cheek. Then another, and another. It was so unlike the over-confident, cocky Carter I knew. I slid myself over and worked my way into his arms. He basically damped my entire shoulder sobbing like a little child but I didn't mind. I liked a sensitive man. Well, dammit - I thought. More things to like about Carter. This couldn't get any more complicated.

Well, see, that's where I was wrong. Carter had managed to plonk his head on my lap and started working his hands way up.
I stopped him right in his tracks. I think he understood that I really needed to know why on earth he was sobbing more than a teenager  after a first break up.
"See here, Saige," he started. "I really do love you. I know it all seems a bit sudden and things but I know these feelings have been growing for some time."
I swallowed the saliva that I had been collecting in my mouth out of nervousness.
"Why are you upset about that?" Dumb question, Saige. So dumb. I knew exactly why he was upset. I mean, why wouldn't he be?
He had a lovely wife and an amazing life. He was probably so angry that his stupid feelings for me got in the way. In all honesty, I really did think it was a passing phase. I could never compete with Kam over a man. Even when she didn't try she was still perfect, and well... I was still just me. Far from perfect.

"I'm not upset about the fact that I love you." Carter says, interrupting my thoughts. I was starting to question whether he was a mind reader or not. "It's just that I can't have you and it's just very fucking disappointing."
I didn't say it to his face, but I knew exactly how he felt. After my feelings for Carter increased, I had a bit of jealousy towards Kam but brushed it off after I realized I was being a real airhead. 'That's your best friend,' I had told myself. 'stop trying to claim what's rightfully hers.'
Although, was he really hers if he kept seducing me?
"You have to understand that Kamryn is like my sister, I can't just run off into the sunset with the love of her life." I heaved. I was preaching like some sort of saint but I knew for fact that not for one second did I even listen to my own advice... and neither did Carter.

Before I knew it, he was climbing over me, kissing my neck. It felt like heaven and hell all at once but I loved it. One part of me said, 'push him off, Saige. Tell him off and go back home. You'd be much better off holed up in solitude in your little flat.' The rest of me just laughed in its face. There was no way in hell I could have pushed myself to tell Carter to stop and actually mean it. His divided love kept me going, even though it didn't all belong to me. I tried not to care much though... a part of Carter was better than nothing at all.

He slid his hand down my tummy and into my pants, inside my underwear. And that was it. Carter Mason had got his way without difficulty. It had been like that for ages, even when he lived with his parents. What Carter wanted, Carter got. I guess this time he wanted me... lucky catch, was it? I know what you must be thinking. Slut. Bitch. Whore. Skank. I feel exactly like that. I feel like I've become all those things I said I wouldn't be. I did all the things I thought I'd never think of doing. I slept with Carter Mason, and I don't think it was the first time...