The Marriage Pact // Changlix

二十三

When Felix woke up, his eyelids felt like lead. Opening his eyes almost ached. Changbin wasn't beside him. The sheets on Changbin's side was cold and untouched.

It felt unnatural to wake up without a warm presence beside him to hug. Felix missed Changbin desperately. His comforting presence, his voice, his touch.

Dragging his body out of bed, he headed to the bathroom and locked the door. Greeted by his face in the mirror, Felix almost winced. He looked like a mess. Hair all tangled and messy from running his hands through it in frustration. Eyebags so prominent and eyes so swollen from the crying and nightmares. Even his nose was still faintly red.

Turning his head to the side, he could still notice the hickies that were beginning to fade that Changbin had left. It caused bitterness to well up in his chest from an aching memory he didn't want to remember.

Felix washed his face, trying to freshen up to his best extent and slipped on a hoodie, pulling the hood up to try to hide the bruises from sight. He didn't want any reminders of Changbin at the moment, no matter how bittersweet.

He didn't know how to face Changbin when once leaves the room. Ignore him? Be the better person and say hi? Smile? Apologise? Cry?

Felix decided to apologise. He couldn't live with them being mad at each other. Even of this meant he had to put his ego aside. Anything for them to be happy again.

Heart beating exceptionally fast, Felix tried rehearsing what he wanted to say when he reached the living room. Would he want to do it in front of everyone or pull Changbin aside?

But his questions ended up not needing an answer as he entered the room, seeing only six people present. The friendly banter stopped almost immediately upon noticing Felix's presence.

"Hyunjin and Changbin left first..." The smile fell from Minho's face when he told Felix this.

His heart dropped and he pursed his lips. Acting like their absence didn't affect him, he silently sat down and poked at the breakfast in front of him. He didn't even want to ask why they left, for he knew they would make up some excuse, when in actual fact Changbin just didn't want to be around Felix.

No one bothered Felix that day, giving him space. The trip ended up being cut short and they left the lodge a few days early. Felix felt bad but they insisted on leaving.

"It's fine, I think I forgot to leave out extra cat food for my cats anyway." Minho assured him.

Woojin also piped in, "Yeah and I uh better get home quick to water my plants."

For the first time that day, Felix smiled, grateful to have friends like these, who tried their best to make him feel better even in the smallest ways.

When they finally reached home, Felix locked himself up in his own room, ignoring Jisung and Seungmin's pleas to tell them what happened.

"We gave you enough space, now can you talk to us and not bottle everything inside?" Felix could hear Jisung's muffled voice from outside the door.

Seungmin added in something else but Felix didn't catch it. All that was echoing in his head was Changbin's recent words to him.

Being with you was repulsive.

Felix shuddered, despite being in a hoodie and wrapped the blankets around him like a protective cover from his thoughts.

He kept telling himself Changbin didn't mean it. Yet, why did he not apologise? But Felix knew Changbin wasn't fully in the wrong, Felix had said some hurtful things too to trigger the older.