This Too Shall Pass

Chapter 12

I brace myself for the words about to come out of Annabelle's mouth and for Mark's reaction.

"Dad? I have something to tell you." Annabelle mumbles

"Yes, sweetheart?" Mark hums, happy.

I need to step in. Mark and Amy need to hear this at the same time, and it's not safe to tell Mark right now while he's driving.

"Um. We will tell you at home once Amy gets back!" I put on a fake smile.

Mark gets a suspicious look but says nothing. Annabelle's face is expressionless and I am a bundle of nerves.

Why am I so nervous? This isn't even my secret! Annabelle, I hope you're going to be okay!

We sit in an awkward silence. Mark tries starting conversation a few times but eventually gives up. My body feels numb and shameful.

Everything is a blur as I lose myself in my own horrors and thoughts of everything that could go wrong. I do not remember pulling into the driveway of the hair salon, or waiting in the waiting room, or sitting in the red chair with the stylist in front of me, admiring my facial structure. My mind jumps to Daddy, and how upset he would be with me if I got pregnant at 15. I almost start to cry as I realize it has been 4 long weeks since I've seen him last. I am terrified that I remember his laugh wrong, or that I do not remember his ocean blue eyes that always supported me and comforted me. I almost cry. I almost run out of that room as fast as I entered it, but the stylist snaps me out of my head.

"What are you thinking to do with your hair today?" She asks with a cheerful smile.

I think for a moment before deciding. Pulling out my phone, I type the 4 syllable word into the search bar.

Daddy's face stares back at me as I show her how I want my hair cut. A pixie cut just above the ear, dyed a bright green at the top. She looks a little bit shocked, and asks me if I'm sure. I nod. Determined. Sighing, she pulls out the scissors and positions them at the side of my head.

One deep breath.

One moment of hesitation.

One moment of realization.

...

Snip.

The first lock is for Annabelle.

Snip.

The second for Daddy.

Snip.

Number three is for Signe.

Snip.

Four is for Mark.

Snip.

Five for Amy.

Snip.

Six for my friends.

Snip.

And the last one for me.

Step one complete. Now to get buzzed around the sides.

It is quick and easy. Unlike watching each lock of my golden hair fall to the floor in a halo on the tile around me.

Dye is next. First applying the dark brown the shorter sides of my hair to match Daddy's. And then the foil to the longer part, painting a bright green onto my previously white-blonde hair.

I wait for a while. Chair turned away from the mirror so that I do not see my hair just yet. Then water. Only water. Massaging my scalp and the warm liquid through my hair. I can feel the difference in length as the stylist runs her hands through my silk hair to wash out the excess green and brown color.

But it's a blur. No thoughts in my mind other than the experienced fingers that stoke my head. Calming me.

One breath of satisfaction from the stylist as she finishes.

A few deep breaths and closed eyes as I imagine laying in the grass with daddy and Signe like old times. The warm breeze from the hair dryer reminding me of the wind that would cause my hair to fly when I was younger.

The comb running through my hair reminding me of how Signe used to brush it. Why does everything remind me of my family?

"Are you ready to see?" The stylist, Kaya, asks.

I nod slowly and hear the door open and close again. Opening my eyes to see who it is I hear Mark gasp and Annabelle squeal, smiling again. Kaya spins the chair and...

I look just like Daddy.

My hand flies to my chest as I stare in awe. Tears of joy come to my eyes and I almost let them flow.

I remember you, Daddy,

But then my happy thoughts are interuppted by the realization that daddy hasn't called me in almost 3 weeks, no weekly letters that Signe used to read to me.

Nothing.

And I look back at a smiling Annabelle and her face drops as the same thought crosses her mind.

I run one hand through my short green hair like Daddy used to have and let the tears flow.

Yes, I think so.

Daddy is dead.