International Hoodrats

He was here

"You're the one I actually think about at night, ya know?" I said through the phone. I heard a light chuckle.

"And why is that?" He asked. I crossed my legs in my bed and started to smile to myself.

"You're different from the rest." I pulled my curls out of my face. Gosh I loved pillow talk. It's like having a heart to heart conversation with someone you can really connect with. But I'm not gonna tell who.

"I get that a lot." I felt his tone lower. I closed my eyes envisioning his facial expression. Maybe he's slightly smirking while lounging in the sofa. Or he could have his hand covering his face in a big cheesy smile while laying in his bed.

"You don't like it?" I asked slightly raising my pitch. I walked towards the window of my room opening it up to feel the fresh night atmosphere of Seoul, South Korea. "Being different makes me feel like a trendsetter, it gives me that 'see me now you wanna be me' type mood." I elaborated more.

His soft giggles erupted through the phone making me smile. "Well if you say it like that I'm proud of being different." I smiled to myself. "Bambi.........can I actually tell you how I'm feeling right now?" He asked. I nodded my head like he could see me.

"Bambi?" He called through the phone.

"Yeah I'm here." I nodded my head yet again. A sudden silence fell over the phone for a little. Was he contemplating? Maybe he was stalling just to make me anticipate what he wanted to say.

"I......I feel like........like I can blow up any minute." He stuttered. My eyes furrowed and my lips pursed.

"How so?" I asked. I waited for him to answer, but I guess he was trying to carefully think.

"I feel like I'm suffocating, like I a pillow is being held against my face stopping me from breathing." He said. I started to feel scared, worried, panicky, idk but I didn't feel good.

"Why is that?" I asked. I heard a sigh over the phone. I sat down on my floor still looking at the scenery.

"I love being with friends and family, making people happy with my music, having fun with you and Nebula" I smiled at that, "but I can't stop this person inside me from making me shut down, it's like their saying 'just die.'" He said exhaling after he was done.

It was a mind thing going on with him. "Are you feeling unsure of yourself?" I asked.

"I'm just feeling more and more triggered everyday, I feel like I'm in a void of nothingness, like nobody can hear me if I scream, nobody can save me." He said. I paused for a moment biting my lip.

"I'll save you." I whispered.

"Not this time Bambi......no one can save me at this point." He took a deep sigh.

*loud gasp*

I opened my heavy eyes in a panic.

It....was a dream, right? All those emotions and that talk.........was just a dream.

I stood up, throwing the covers off me.

Thwack

I walked to the other side of the bed to pick up what fell off. I bent over and picked up a white envelope.

From Jonghyun

I immediately opened the envelope

May 21, 2018

Dear Bambi,

Thank you for talking to me my cute friend

From yours truly,

Jonghyunie

I instantly dropped the letter. So many quest started to run through my mind. Like how did he right this today and he's not even on this Earth anymore? How was I able to talk to him in a dream? Why me in particular?

"Jonghyun, I love you my dear friend." I pressed the letter to my chest, a few tears falling from my eyes. I instantly started to feel warm, like someone was hugging me.

"I love you too."

I looked up to see Jonghyun flying out of my window, a white silhouette following after him as he smiled that sweet smile. Jonghyun may you forever be in peace.