Different

If only it wasnt so hard to let go

I lay awake, staring at the ceiling. I look at the clock, 3am, I haven't slept since the hospital yesterday.

Whenever I try to fall asleep I just picture his face in my mind. The desperation in his eyes, sadness emptyness and happiness all displayed across his face.

It's unbearable to think that he is really gone. I stuff my face into my pillow and let out a muffled cry. Can you even imagine a life without someone who loved you? Maybe the only person who showed their love.

In a sense I loved him to, although not the same way he loved me. He was my best friend, and to me it will always be a friendship. I just wish he had known that earlier so he didn't have to feel the same pain of leaving me.

The thing was, I couldn't be selfish and love him. that would only make things harder for him in the long run. so I never let myself think that we could have a future, it was just too hard for both of us.

But now I have to except he was gone, there was no changing that. the funeral was sunday, and if I want to be stable enough to go, I must let him go. And with that, I let myself go to sleep.

TThoffmans note: sorry I know this was a short chapter and I haven't posted in forever but I will be quicker in posting the next chapter.