Deep Desires (Zayn Malik)

19

The rain continued to poor down the night of the painful letter reading and day of unwanted pain. Zayn fell asleep quickly on my shoulder as we layer back against the pillows, he mostly cried softly and tried to hide it for more times than once; but I assured him that letting out the pain is okay.

But, I fell asleep along with him and a couple of hours later the crackling thunder and pounding rain on the roof forced my eyes open, and it had came to my realization that Zayns body was heavy on top of mine and caused a layer of sweat on my skin.

I pushed him off as gently as I could and tried to make sure his body was in a comfortable position as he lay by himself. He had groaned a few times from my absence but he eventually softly started to snore again.

I quietly made my way to the bathroom where I ended up splashing my face with ice cold water and ended up staring in the mirror for a solid ten minutes, it was one of those moments where you just stared and didn't think of anything at all except for the reflection looking back at you.

"Why are you up so late?" A quiet voice says from the living room couch as I was trying to get myself a glass of water.

"Clyde is that you?" I say into the darkness of the room and continue to fill my glass with water, the room is dark and the only light is from the candle next to Clyde on the lamp table.

"Yep." Taking a sip of my water I sit on the couch, leaning against the cushions and tapping my foot lightly on the carpeted floor.

"Why are you up so late?" I ask, repeating the question he had asked me.

"Every day I wake up in the middle of night and can't fall asleep for hours, so I use the time to think and you know talk to my dead love ones." He jokes and we both let out quiet laughs.

"I'm sorry... you know about your sleeping condition." I tell him sincerely.

"No, why are you up so late?" He asks and I shrug my shoulders even though he can't see me.

"I guess, the same as you, to think. Zayn had a rough night and I couldn't really find the means to sleep." I say and continue to sip on the water, in another attempt to cool my body down.

"Oh. Did he tell you about his mother too?"
"Yeah, and wait he told you?" The pain of knowing Zayn told Clyde before me hurts a lot more than it should, but I try to look past it.

"Don't take it personal Tricia." He seems to read right through me. "Trust me, Zayn would've rather told you than me or anyone else for that matter. You were just, gone and I guess he couldn't take keeping it anymore so I kind of just sat there and read the letter and watched him cry, and then I cried because my sister died of acute lymphatic cancer when she was nine and you know life sucks and all that shit."

"Oh." Is all I can make out to say.

"But, despite all the weird shit you guys had the day or whatever before he wouldn't shut the fuck up about you." He says and I can't help but to laugh at his crude humor. "I'm not kidding, he wouldn't shut the fuck up. He either would say something like 'Trish is probably lost or something and I just can't believe I didn't run after her' or he was like 'I hate what happened and I just ugh!' His exact words I can reassure you." Clyde laughs a stiff laugh and I finish off my water.

"You're just exaggerating, Zayn didn't talk about me the whole time." I laugh and put my glass down on the coffee table.

"Yeah he did." He groans. "Literally he was worried as hell that you wouldn't find your way back and also he said that no matter what he always seemed to get caught in your 'web' where he just wants to be near you forever."