Deep Desires (Zayn Malik)

27- July part 1

❌PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING❌

The chapters will be changing, instead of me writing a chapter that goes through the timespan of three or four days, I am going to asign each chapter to a month, which means the chapters may be longer but I am not sure yet(: I hope you guys like this chapter, I hope it isn't too depressing for some of you!

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Zayn was due to his first mission in the military the day after the beginning of September, which put me in a sad state for my boyfriend was leaving me for six months and I wouldn't have anybody to share my expierences at work or even share a laugh with him before we tucked ourselves into bed.

Six months I wouldn't hear his voice ring through my ears, or rather joyously.

"I've never been to one of these." I tuck Zayn's collar down and button up his dress shirt.

"Be happy you haven't, it usually isn't something you would want to attend." I tell him, helping him with his shirt before making him tuck it in himself to avoid any sexual words from coming out of his mouth.

"It isn't something anyone would be happy to attend." Zayn says making sure to not sound greedy. "By the way you look beautiful." He mentions and I lean over to kiss him, a tiny kiss of course.

I turn back to the mirror and smooth out my dark dress that I just bought for this event. "Shall we go." I say, grabbing my speech and putting it in my handbag, along with a candy bar for when Zayn get's hungry.

"You okay?" He asks, placing his hands on the side of my face and smoothing back my curly hair.

"Not really, but I can pull it together for a couple of hours right? After all I wasn't the one in love." I sniffle and take the kiss that Zayn offers me.

~

"The happiness of your life depends on the quiality of our own thoughts, some thoughts are darker than others, leading a person to an unhappy lifestyle. But I find it hard to believe that her brain didn't occupy any positive thoughts or anything that could make her smile for at least a couple of seconds." I begin, already crying at my own speech.

"I can't do this." I whisper to Clyde, emotionally not stable enough to finish off the few paragraphs I had written.

"This is how you say goodbye." Clyde whispers back from the front row, him seated between Zayn and Amanda's Aunt whom we have been staying with, and her parents who drove here for the funeral.

"I'm sorry," I crumble my speech and tuck it in my purse, then look at the five people in front of me, this is what I owe and I begin a new speech off the top of my head.

"I am no Christian, I am not religious and I don't follow the bible like most people, but I do know that God gives us people we need and not want, people to help hurt and leave you. I have to say Amanda fufilled all her duties in our relationship, she was a good friend for the short time I knew her, and I didn;t get to say or do much when she walked the earth, but if I could say one thing, it would be that life is to be enjoyed, not just endured."

I walk away from the podeum and sit next to Zayn, taking a quick glance at Amanda's parents and crying a bit as they cry together, even the dad shedding tears.

"Clyde, are you going to speak now?" Amanda's mother asks and Clyde nods, proceeding to the front of the room.

CLYDES POV

(THIS IS A FLASHBACK BTW)

"I will not take that kind of disrespect in my house young man, you are 13 and need to know your place!" My mother yells, raising her hand and thinking hard about whether or not to slap me.