Begin Again

Chapter 12

“Savannah? What are you doing here?” Joe asks, confusion rippling in his voice.

“Umm I-I-I. Well you see I-“I stammer, trying to think of something to say.

“Yeah?” Joe asks, urging me to go on.

“I was just visiting my friends mum,” I blurt.

“Oh, where’s your friend?” he asks.

“She went home because it got too emotional for her.”

He seems to buy my lie because he lets the subject drop.

“So, what are you doing here?” I ask.

He scratches the back of his head nervously. “I think you know why.”

Realisation hits me and I almost fall backwards.

Shit, Shit, shit, shit, sh-

“Savannah, are you okay?” Joe’s voice brings me back to reality. “You look like you’re going to pass out.”

“I’m fine,” I say, quickly. “Do you by any chance know where it is?”

“No, but you’re going to help me find it.”

“I’m going to, what?”

“You’re going to he-“

“I heard you,” I exclaim. “Why do I have to help you?”

“Because, I can’t go through a million gravestones by my-self. You need to help me,” he states.

“But Joe-“

“Please Savannah?” he begs. “Please, it would mean so much to me and to Sav up in heaven.”

I hesitate, biting my lip. Something I do when I’m in deep thought. He gives me a puppy dog face - the one I couldn’t resist when I was younger. I stare at his face for a moment and then he goes and makes his puppy dog face even cuter. I mean, how could I say no to that?

I sigh, giving in. “Fine.”

“Yes!” He pumps his fist in the air. “I knew that would work. Nobody can resist my face.”

I shove him. “Shut up.”

He smirks, walking further into the cemetery, leaving me behind. Suddenly everything has grown serious, as Joe looks intently at the names of everyone. I gulp as he gets closer to my mothers. He scans over her name and his face lights up in recognition. I watch as his eyes, shift to the gravestone next to hers. His expressions going from hopefulness to disappointment.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“She always said she wanted to be buried next to her mother,” he whispers. “But she isn’t here.”

His voice breaks and I almost feel like spilling out my secret then and there, but I decide against it. Now isn’t the best time.

“Maybe, she’s somewhere else?” I suggest. But for a fact I know I said ‘whenever I die, I want to be buried next to my mother or father.’

“No, she would have been here. It was her only wish.”

Silence falls between us, while I think of something to say. C’mon Sav, lighten up his mood.

I open my mouth to say something, but then close it again. I have to tell him know, even if it isn’t the right time to tell him.  He’s breaking; I have to tell him now.

Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, I speak, “Joe, Savannah isn’t dead. She’s actually alive and you’re staring at her right now.”

I keep my eyes closed waiting for his response, but nothing comes. When I open my eyes I find Joe no longer there, but walking back to the entrance of the cemetery, ready to leave.