Begin Again

Chapter 15

Running is not an option right now.

Especially not when your friendship is on the line.

“Joe, I can explain-“

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, quietly.

“I-I didn’t know how,” I mumble, my gaze dropping to the floor. My feet suddenly look very interesting.

“You didn’t know how?” he asks, his voice raising.

“Joe, please don’t yell,” I ask, quietly, a single tear spilling down my face.

I hear him sigh, but I don’t bother to look up. “Savannah,” he says, softer than before. “I just need an explanation on to why you didn’t tell me.”

“Because, I didn’t know how!” this time it’s me yelling. “I didn’t know how to tell you. What was I supposed to say, huh? Oh Joe, I’m not actually dead or hey Joe! It’s your dead friend!  I had so many opportunities but I couldn’t tell you! I was a coward a god damn coward and I’m sorry you had to find out this way-“

“Savannah,” Joe tries to stop me.

“-I am so sorry! I feel like such a bitch. But you don’t need to yell at me! You know how hard this was for me? Larissa saw through me. I was unhappy because I was worrying about this. But you don’t give a shit do you? You only care about yourself. Have you ever thought about what I feel? How do you think I feel right now? Well, let me tell you one thing-“

“Savannah!” Joe says, louder this time but that doesn’t stop me.

“-I feel a hell lot worse than you! I know this must be hard for you, but it’s hard for me too. I hate this so much, I just hate it. You know, I did tell you at the cemetery but you walked away, I was about to tell you when we had that fight the other day, but you walked away. So technically, if you didn’t walk away we wouldn’t be in this situation, would we? So who’s fault it is now-“

I cut off to his lips being pressed against mine. Without thinking, I respond back automatically, my hands slipping around his neck, while his hands slip around my waist.

After a few minutes of making out, his tongue swipes across my bottom lip, but that’s what snaps me out of it.

I push him back forcefully; so much he stumbles almost falling to the ground.

“What the hell?” he asks.

“Joe, you have a girlfriend,” I blurt out.

His eyes widen, as he realises what he just did. “Sav....”

“Why did you kiss me?” I ask.

“Because, I came here to tell you I have feelings for you. I got those feelings because you reminded me of Savannah, which makes a whole lot of sense now because you are Savannah,” he sighs, bringing a hand through his hair.

I stare at him dumbfounded. There is silence for what feels like eternity, then finally I open my mouth to speak. “I think you should leave.”

He stares at me incredulously, before nodding. “Just so you know, I forgive you. It feels good to know I have my best friend around, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.”

He leaves after that. I fall back onto the couch, exhausted. I can’t believe he found out. I can’t believe he likes me. I just don’t know what to believe at the moment.

Somewhere in our yelling fest, Kyle and Rayna must of left the room. Geez, I hope my family didn’t hear what he said.

“Savannah!” Larissa’s urgent voice calls through the house.