Fifty Shades Alternative | ✔

Chapter 4: Past or Present?

Chapter 4: Past or Present?
[ANA'S POV]

[6 Years Ago]

"Unbelievable!", I exclaimed so loud that everyone around me, stopped their work and glared at me. I ducked my head a bit to avoid their gazes.

Okay, WOAH.

I was sitting in a small cyber café here in Santa Fe, searching for any news, anything related to me.

I searched up 'Christian Grey', 'Anastasia Grey', 'Anastasia Steele' but absolutely NOTHING related to me came up! I searched up some local Seattle based newspapers but there was no news about my absence. I mean how could it be possible? It had been a week!

Did Christian actually get the notes?, I wondered. Or did he simply chose to ignore it? I didn't want this thought to sink in but the latter seemed like a possibility.

But why would Christian ignore me?, my subconscious said.

Because you left him, duh., said my inner goddess.

Yeah but Ana is his wife!, my subconscious argued.

Still, you left him, inner goddess did not leave an opportunity to poke her nose. My inner goddess was not supporting me anymore and I had an urge to shoot her but whatever she was speaking was utter truth.

How could I expect this to become National News?! I left him and I shouldn't be concerned about anything anymore. That was what I wanted, right?

Wrong, my inner goddess didn't leave me alone.

"Shut up!", I shouted loudly and hence got kicked out of the café. I walked slowly towards my apartment which I manage to rent with minimal paperwork. The owner was a 60 year old man living somewhere in Albuquerque and gave his Santa Fe apartment for rent. He said he trusted me and hence did not ask for additional documents. And how did I met him? To be honest, I don't even remember myself. I shouldn't be saying this but I got really drunk the day I came here and the meeting happened somewhere then. Rest is history.

As I was walking down the streets, tears brimmed my eyes as autumn winds blew past me. I knew i had been the most cruel person there was, everyone was hating me by then, I was pretty sure of it.

Shit, what did I do? A sob left my throat and I went into an alley nearby so no one could see me.

I have no one now, I thought. I should have just thought this through properly or never did it. I couldn't even go back! By what face should I face Christian? Just pop there and say, 'Hey hi so I am pregnant for starters and I was coward enough to not confess before and leave but I felt really lonely so I came back.' Even my subconscious and inner goddess looked at me with concerned eyes. They knew everything by then was tearing me apart and my early pregnancy hormones weren't helping me either.

I started getting morning sickness which should not be classified as 'Morning' sickness as they went throughout the day. I should find a new gynecologist soon.

The main question was how did I became so irrational? For fuck's sake this was the most stupidest move I ever made in life. But I realized there is nothing I could do about it anymore. I should deal with this.

When I came out of that alley and started walking again, I decided that what was done, was done. It was time to move forward. It was better race against the past than along with past. Just 8 months more and I would have my bleep with me, and then, I need no one anymore.

[Present]

"Enough is enough Mila. Your disrespect will no longer be tolerated", I said with finality in my voice.

"I am NOT going to eat it!", she screamed and threw another handful of porridge on the floor.

I have Mila strapped in her dining chair and gave her porridge and spoon to finish it and she was eating it but suddenly started shouting and throwing half her breakfast down on floor.

"WHY?!", I exclaimed with frustration. It is more difficult to handle a 5 year old than an infant, trust me.

"I want to meet daddy.", she said.

I sighed. So she was still hung up on last night's conversation. Oh, what did I think she'll be over it? Nah.

"I told you he is not here", I said, calmly. I can't be mad at her in this topic. It is because of me she hasn't met her father yet.

"Why?"

"Because he is on a business trip"

"NO!", she shouted.

"Yes!"

"I want to meet him mommy" and I see sadness in her eyes. A sadness that i've never seen before and I know this time she is pretty serious. It pains me to see her in this condition. I took one wrong step and i'm dragging Mila in this too.

No, I thought. I cannot be unfair to her. She needs to know the truth and i'm not keeping her in the dark anymore. And she old enough to understand that her father doesn't stay with her.

"Okay Mila I have something to tell you.." and I know there was no going back from here now. She needs to know about Christian, and i'm telling her the truth, utter truth this time.

~*~*~*~

A/N: Leave your thoughts & keep loving the story❤

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Until we meet again, xoxo ~ Ava❤