Artemis Fowl: Wreaking Havoc

2. That's Some Nice Hair

Nothing goes my way, thought Artemis Fowl the Second as a LEPrecon officer led him and Butler through an underground chamber to a pod. The pixie's polished name tag said 'Chix'. Artemis wondered in what state his mother had named him.

 "Here y'are," said Chix, stepping back proudly to inspect the beaten grey pod, the only form of transport to Haven. "Made 'er myself. I mean, no, not completely, but I helped. With the plannin' and all."

 Artemis wasn't sure he wanted to know that. He climbed into the vehicle of sorts, sure that if he lingered for even a second longer his nerves would have left him. Riding the pod wasn't the most comfortable way of travelling.

 The pod dipped and groaned ominously as Butler stepped inside. He gave Artemis a reassuring pat on the shoulder, resulting in the pod sinking on its wheels a few centimetres more.

 Artemis found he could speak.

 "This is, ah, a licenced pod, I take it?" he said. Chix, jumping into the driving seat, gave the boy a not-as-reassuring grin.

 "Of course not," he said. "Are you Mud Men stupid or somethin?"

 Artemis felt he was missing something.

 "It's perfectly reasonable to ask such a question," he said, a little annoyed. "So if you would care to explain what Butler and I are doing in an illegal pod, we would like to know immediately. Just a fun fact, but Butler has twenty-seven different types of weaponry on hand at the moment and he is fairly adept at using thirty-five of those. So, if you please."

 Artemis didn't feel as if he was saying those words, but rather listening to a stranger reciting them. How many times had he made icy threats such as these, and always without hesitation? Now it felt inexplicably wrong.

 Chix was still trying to figure out how twenty-seven was the same as thirty-five when Butler hit him over the head with a huge fist. The connection was quite loud, and the pixie crumpled to the floor of the pod. His chest rose and fell gently as he dreamt of flying with new, pastel-blue wings.

 "We can't trust him, Artemis," said Butler in his low, gravelly voice. Artemis shook his head, pressing his temples with his long fingers as he gazed down at the unconscious pixie.

 "I'm not sure that was an entirely - oof."

 Artemis was flung across the chamber by Butler's huge weight, hitting the opposite, stone-covered wall. Butler rolled away from his employer so as not to smother him, staring at the pod as it roared to life on its own and shot down the tunnel. There was a stretched moment of silence before everything exploded as, with an enormous, ground-shuddering crash, the pod hit the sweltering Earth's core and, put simply, was destroyed. Huge columns of flame shot out of the tunnel, rushing through the chamber towards Artemis and Butler. Butler grabbed Artemis, lifting him right off his feet, and began to fling him out of the place when the huge bodyguard was hoisted into the air by his waist. Artemis, already only half conscious, felt nausea washing through him in waves as the flames licked at the stone below and the two humans were flown to safety.

Artemis collapsed onto the grassy field of an abandoned piece of farmland, the soil too poor for agriculture and the place too small for anything other than a cottage. He struggled up until he was kneeling, gasping in fresh air and dispelling the smoke from his lungs. To his right, Butler was already on his feet and talking to someone. Artemis, too weak to do anything other than stare at the grass as the nausea passed, caught only snatches of their conversation.

 "...Welcome, but why did Chix drive straight into the core?...It was a good thing you weren't in there..."

 "Enough of that for now - what on earth have you gotten us into, Holly?"

 Artemis looked up so fast he felt his face pale from a new wave of nausea. Holly Short, first female LEPrecon officer in history, was hovering at eye level to Butler. Artemis noticed that she had grown her hair.

 "He -" Artemis cleared his throat, coughing the remaining debris stuck in it. "Hello, Holly."

 Holly looked at him, his blue eye on her face strangely fascinating.

 "Hello, Arty," she said, smiling a little, and Artemis felt a rush of pleasure at the pet name. "Are you feeling alright?"

 "Yes," said Artemis. "Thanks for saving me and Butler." He then meant to ask her about the business with Chix and, in fact, the entire business with everything to do with coming here, but his mouth wouldn't do it.

 "So, you grew your hair?"