Artemis Fowl: Wreaking Havoc

9. Misunderstandings

The gate wouldn’t unlock fast enough. Artemis Fowl’s fingers were fumbling with the cold metal that he had locked and unlocked so fluidly before as too many emotions for him to handle coursed through his body. It had been less than five days, and yet he found he had already missed Holly Short so much that his heart had quadrupled upon seeing her shivering in the darkness outside his gate.

“Quickly,” he said, and he felt his skin prickle as Holly brushed past him and into the manor. “I give you three permission to come in.”

And once they were all in the well-lit corridor, the door wouldn’t shut and lock fast enough.

Butler appeared around the corner, his footsteps muffled by the thick Oriental carpet. Not surprisingly, his large hands were weighed down by a weapon; in this case, his conventional Sig Sauer. He stopped when he saw who the visitors were. He seemed surprised that they were actually welcome ones.

“Holly!” the bodyguard cried. He hurried forwards to give the female LEPrecon officer an affectionate, bone-crushing hug before turning to Trouble and Foaly. They surreptitiously took a step back. “Kelp. Foaly,” he said, nodding. They nodded back, albeit rather weakly. They had spent the entire day trudging through Ireland to get to the manor, and they really didn’t have the strength to converse with a giant human as well. Especially one that looked like one look could topple all of Haven.

“Refreshments, Butler, old friend,” said Artemis. Butler didn’t pause to ask what the fairies were doing in the manor; he knew Artemis would tell him. So instead, he turned on his heel and went to the kitchen to prepare some cold drinks with Fish a la Normandie and maybe even Mushrooms a la Bordelaise if he had time.

It was over dinner that everyone really got together and started to share their stories. Artemis introduced Teteph rather vaguely, saying that the dwarf had aided him in one of his ‘expeditions’. Holly felt a little disappointed at this; she had hoped that the boy had completely given up his illegitimate ways.

After much talk and plenty of Fish a la Normandie, Artemis finally cleared his throat. Everyone at the oak table fell silent – not that any of them had been talking much to begin with. All of them were dead on their feet.

“I have deduced,” said Artemis, laying his fork and knife down delicately on his empty plate, “That Holly’s – and our – aggressor is a fairy. Why has nothing happened to the manor yet? Simply because the aggressor cannot enter human dwelling without permission.” He paused for effect here, smoothing down nonexistent wrinkles in the suit he had especially worn for this occasion. It wasn’t every day that his friends could all get together and dine at his manor. “Therefore,” he continued, now talking directly to Holly, “I’m sorry to say this, Captain Short, but I absolutely forbid you from leaving Fowl Manor.”

Holly gaped at him. She was at least sixty years older than this boy, and yet here he was ordering her about. Granted, what he said held some truth in it – a lot, in fact – but it still irked her. A lot, in fact.

“I’ll do what I want, Artemis –”

“No!”

The dining room was suddenly hushed as everyone stared at Artemis and Holly, who were glaring at each other from across the huge, obscenely expensive table. Artemis realised that he was beginning to lose his temper, which he didn’t recall having done in a very long time.

“I mean – no. I order – I suggest you remain in the manor, for your own safety,” he said, steepling his fingers to have something to do. Holly dropped her gaze and sighed.

“He’s right, Holly,” muttered Trouble, his eyelids half closed. “Hate to admit it, but he’s right.” And then he started to snore.

Artemis tried the smile had had been working on all summer. He did believe he had improved.