Jenna Marbles In The Hunger Games

When I wake up in the morning, my fingers reach across the mattress seeking Marbles and Kermit, but I don't find them. I go to the bathroom and realize I'm late, so I take a Ke$ha shower, and put my hair in a sidebraid, because I went to college and majored in Sidebraids. I also apply loads of makeup and bleach the heck out of my hair, because if I go to the Capitol, I want to trick people into thinking I'm hot.

I have a few energy drinks because I'm not prepared for today, today is the Reaping, where they take a boy and girl from each District to fight to the death in an outdoor arena. Since I'm always on my computer, I wouldn’t want to be outside that long, with no wifi.

I pack my ninja turtle backpack while listening to my annoying neighbor rave her face off. Alone. After I say my goodbyes to Kermit and Marbles, I also put on my key necklace for good luck.

II get in my car to drive to the Reaping. And I forgot everything I was supposed to bring. Okay, in the car here we go, and were going backwards, forwards, her we go!Is that my car making that noise? Sounds like a freaking dying robot, and were riding in the car and we are never freaking stoppin' yeah.  should turn on the radio. "Our song is a slammin' screen door, wow, how long have I been singing?I don't even like that song .Eww, what, what is that in my teeth, how long has that been there? Oops, almost hit a cone, touchy uppy ,touchy uppy.Oh Im sorry sir, Quit ridin' me brah! A DOG! I like your outfit! That’s a curb...and that is a stop sign. Why is that girl jogging like half naked? Like, next time, by a whole shirt! Oh, she looks like a porn star, that's why. I should really start jogging, nahhh, I'm not gonna start jogging .Haha, I beat you! I got star power so I beat you, WALUIGI!I'm here, and I'm late.

 I sign myself in and wait for our mentor Effie to come out. Effie is our escort, she is wearing a pink wig, a purple suit, and a pink skirt, she has a strange accent that could only be from the capitol, she also has high heels on, and every bracelet, and every medal thing she could find. I decide to hate her.She looks just like that b--ch at the airport. 

"Welcome all to the Reaping of the 74h annual Hunger Games, where you will all have the honor of representing District 12, to bring glory to our district, may the odds be ever in your favor, now, ladies first" 

She walks over the crystal ball that holds the names of this years potential tributes.  She digs her hands deep into the bowl, finally picks one,walks back to the stage, and reads it.

"Jenna Mourey" Effie trills. Crap.

I nervously walk up to stage, hoping somebody would volunteer for me, but nobody does. Probably because I only know 5 freaking people in this town. I was so distracted by the thought of actually being social I don't hear who Effie calls as the male tribute. I look up to see him walking up to the stage, and an evil smile creeps onto my face. It's my annoying roommate.